EuroTrip
by Bressa W
Summary: Sequel to Unleashed in Disneyworld YYHLOTR. Characters inc: Aragorn, Hiei, Legolas, Kurama. Sara, Faythe, & company hit Europe & Australia with force in a whirlwind of adventures. New characters! Babies! Is Sara pregnant? R&R!
1. 1 Together Again

_Disclaimer: Sara and I own Sara and Faythe, but we don't own Aragorn or Kurama. Other disclaimers will soon be necessary, and you'll soon see why._

_Author's Note: Well, here it is, just like I promised. Part two. And, just like I promised, it's bigger, has more characters, and Faythe is far more pregnant. The plot, I feel, is funnier, and…well, I guess you'll see for yourself whether it's better or not._

**The Adventures of Sara and Faythe**

**2. EuroTrip**

**By Sara & Bressa W. (Faythe) **

**Chapter One**

**Together Again**

**Faythe opened the bag of chips and scarfed a few. "I need dip," she said.**

**Aragorn looked distraught. "You never said anything about dip."**

**"I want dip now. Go get some."**

**Aragorn sighed. "Anything else?"**

**She thought for a moment. "Ice cream."  
"What kind?"**

**"Moose Tracks."**

"Fine." And he left. As soon as he was out the door, the phone rang.

Faythe picked it up. "Hello?"

"Yo."

"Sara!"

"No, it's Santa Clause."

Faythe ignored the sarcasm. "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to humanity! Well, someone remotely close to a human."

**"Why? What's going on?"**

**Sara paused. "Just meet me at the park, okay?"**

**"The one by the river?" **

**"Yeah. On the bridge."**

**"When?"**

**"Let's make it ten minutes."**

**"Okay. See you there." Faythe hung up and heaved herself off of the couch, patting her protruding abdomen as she stood. She realized that she needed to buy more maternity clothing. "We'll have to go shopping later," she said to her belly. She left for the park just as Aragorn was coming home.**

"You want me to get dip and now you're leaving? What am I supposed to do until you get back?"

Faythe put her hands on her hips. "I don't know. Find Hiei or something!" She walked out the door.

"Maybe I will!" Aragorn shouted after her.

Faythe got into her car and drove to the park.

Sara was waiting for her on the bridge over the river. As it turns out, meeting there was a bad idea. The rushing water underneath made it very difficult to hear each other.

"What!"

Sara sighed and pulled Faythe off the bridge. "I said, I'm glad you came. It's nice to see you."

Faythe smiled. "Nice to see you, too!" They started walking down the path.

**Sara looked at Faythe. "You're starting to show."**

**"Yeah, I know. Isn't it cool?"**

**"Aren't you nervous?"**

**"About what?"**

**"About A being a father." They both laughed.**

**Faythe thought about the question. "A little. What if we're not good parents?"**

**Sara shrugged. "You're kids will become drug dealers."**

**"That's making her feel REAL good, Sara," said Kurama; he'd been quietly following them.**

**Sara jumped. "Kurama! Don't do that! Can't you ever announce your presence?"**

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Sara looked at him, trying not to smile. She succeeded and threw her arms up in the air. "Men!" Kurama looked crushed, so Sara gave him a hug.

"Kurama, what are you doing here?" Faythe asked.

He shrugged. "I enjoy walking."

**Faythe groaned. "I used to enjoy walking, too. But what are you REALLY doing here?"**

**"I'm following you, if you really want to know," he replied.**

**Sara looked at him. "I can't tell if you you're being serious or not."**

He smiled at them. "You aren't supposed to be able to."

"Whatever."

Faythe clapped her hands together. "Let's go to the mall! I need to go shopping for clothes." Sara and Kurama agreed, not knowing what they were getting in to.


	2. 2 Mallaholics

_Disclaimer: I own Jake, Faythe, Sara, and RE-becka. Tolkien owns Aragorn and Legolas. I don't know who owns Hiei and Kurama, but it's not me. Oh yeah, and the store, the Maternity Ward, mine. I created that little pun. Go me!_

**Chapter Two**

**Mall-aholics**

**AT THE MALL**

**They were standing outside The Maternity Ward, the mall's store for maternity clothes, foods that satisfy even the strangest of cravings, and shoes that didn't hurt swollen feet.**

**"Where are we?" Sara asked fearfully, looking at the enlarged women with moody looks on their faces inside.**

**"The Maternity Ward," Faythe said, sounding like Sara's question was stupid.**

**"Do we have to go in there?" Kurama asked quietly, fearing the response.**

**"No. You can go somewhere else if you want," Faythe replied. "We'll meet in the Food Court in one hour."**

**"Why the Food Court?"**

**"I'm hungry. See you there!" And she went inside.**

**Sara turned to Kurama. "What now?"**

**Kurama shrugged. "Sears? I need some pillowcases."**

**"Okay." They wandered off among the smaller shops before finding the Sears Department Store.**

"What color do you want?"

"White."

Sara stared at him. "Use your imagination!"

"Okay." He picked up some neon blue pillowcases. "What about these?"

"Dude."

Kurama took that as a good sign. They went and got in line. **For some reason, the cashier seemed vaguely familiar to Sara.**

**Suddenly, she realized who it was. "Jake! What are you doing in Michigan? I thought you lived in Florida."**

**"I did, but I moved up here to be with Legolas."**

**Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Are you two…together?"**

**"No, no! I'm still recovering and I was signed over to Legolas when the hospital said I was well enough to leave. I'm required, by law, to be with him."**

**"Oh, okay. I thought for a minute that you were gay." **Sara said.

Jake laughed. "Legolas can be a little fruity at times, but mainly because he's so narcissistic."

Sara nodded. "Yes, he is."

Jake looked around. "Where's Faythe?"

"Shopping for maternity clothes."

"Oh. When's it due?"

Sara and Kurama looked at each other. "I don't know."

"Come on, Kurama. We need to go meet Faythe. It was nice talking to you."

They walked to the Food Court. "Friend of yours?"

"I only met him once. I don't want to talk about it." They sat down at a table and waited for Faythe.

**Not much later, Legolas walked over to them. "Where are Faythe and Aragorn?"**

**Sara replied, "Aragorn's at home eating ice cream. Faythe's out shopping for maternity clothes."**

**His eyebrows shot up. "Really? Boy or girl?"**

**Sara and Kurama shared a look and shrugged. "We don't know."**

**Legolas sat down. "Well then, we'll just have to wait for her and ask her." He grabbed Sara's soda and took a sip. "Thanks. When's she getting here?"**

**Sara grabbed her soda away. "She'll be here soon. And get your own soda."**

**Legolas was about to go get one when Faythe showed up. "Oh, hey Faythe!" he called. "I was about to get a soda. Do you want one?"**

**She nodded. "Diet Pepsi, please, Legolas!"**

**He nodded back and walked towards the fountain counter. **

**Faythe sat down. "What's up, guys?" she asked.**

**Sara replied, "We ran into Jake at Sears."**

"Really."

"Yup."

"How is he?"

Sara shrugged. "He's fine."

Legolas came back and handed Faythe a soda. "Thanks."

Sara looked at Kurama. "I'm hungry. Come on."

"All right." Sara took orders and she and Kurama headed off.

**Legolas gestured for Faythe to sit down. "How've you been, Faythe?" he asked.**

**She sighed. "I'm tired, Legolas. I'm worn out and in pain and hungry." She paused for a moment. "I'm nervous, too. I want to be a good parent to them."**

**"'Them?' Are you having twins?"**

**She nodded. "A boy and a girl. That's why I'm showing so much at five months."**

**"Congratulations! Does Aragorn know it's twins?"**

**"Not yet. But I'm going to tell him," she promised. Legolas gave her a skeptical look. "I will! He'll just be too nervous right now, though. I'll tell him after my next doctor's appointment." She sipped at her soda. "How's Jake doing?"**

"Jake is fine. He misses you."

"That's sweet of him." She took another drink. "God! Where are they?"

"Faythe, they just left!"

"I know. But I'm hungry!"

"You already said that."

"Well, I'm saying it again."

"Alright!" Legolas held his hands up. "You're in a bad mood."

"I'm pregnant."

"So I've heard."

**"Don't get short with me, mister! Never mess with a hungry pregnant woman," she warned him. Sara and Kurama came back with two trays that were laden with food. "Oh, goody!" Faythe exclaimed. "Dinner's here!"**

**"Did you get enough for me?" Aragorn asked, stepping out from behind the potted plant he'd been hiding behind. He turned to Faythe. "Twins, huh? Wow…I'm gonna be a double-daddy!"**

Sara cocked an eyebrow. She turned to Kurama. "Gee, I guess the table's full. We'll have to sit somewhere else." They took their food and sat at a different table.

Legolas smiled. "Look at the happy couple."

Faythe shook her head. "They're just friends."

"They seem to be enjoying themselves."

**Faythe shook her head harder. "They're just friends!"**

**"Who's just friends?" Hiei asked, appearing out of nowhere. **

**"Sara and Kurama," Legolas responded.**

**"Where are they at?" Hiei asked. He didn't sound angry. Aragorn pointed to their table. Hiei went over to it and sat down, indulging himself in some of Sara's fries.**

"Hey! Those are my fries!"

Hiei smiled. "I know."

Kurama looked up from the book he was reading. "Hello, Hiei." Hiei nodded at him. They all started talking when some girl came up to them. **She was holding a piece of paper out to Hiei.**

**"C-c-can you sign this for me?" She spoke Japanese.**

**He raised an eyebrow. "Whom do I make it out to?"**

**"Becka. It's really RE-becka, but I like to go by Becka," she replied enthusiastically. She was beginning to hyperventilate and began giggling incessantly. "I've seen every episode of YYH! I love you! I have dreams about you! Hiei, I want to marry you!"**

**Hiei raised his eyebrow so far it nearly disappeared under the ward. "I'm afraid I'll have to turn you down," he said. "But some lucky guy will understand you…eventually." He scrawled his name out and dotted the "I's," handing it back to her. He said, "It was…nice…meeting you."**

**She clutched the paper to her heart and squealed. "Thank you, Hiei!" She turned and ran away.**

Kurama was trying not to laugh, but Sara had a look of horror on her face. "Sara? Are you okay?"

She began twitching, so Hiei put his arm around her. Faythe and the others came over. "Maybe we should go back to my house…"

"Good idea." Kurama helped Sara stand up and they left the mall.

**They piled into their modes of transportation. Kurama alone in his convertible, Sara and Hiei in Sara's pickup truck, Faythe and Aragorn in Aragorn's Jeep. Legolas said he'd be by later, after Jake's shift was over.**

**IN KURAMA'S CAR**

**He was singing along to a love song on the radio that he was fond of, hoping that the rest of the day would be as "normal" as possible.**

**IN SARA'S TRUCK**

**Hiei was talking about Kurama. "Sara, he's my best friend, but you've been a little…chummy with him lately. Is everything all right?"**

**Sara was tired of this conversation. "Hiei, there's nothing going on!"**

**"But Faythe said…"**

**"Lord, is that who's been putting this crap in your head? Hiei, Faythe's heart is in the right place…usually…but her depth perception is way off." She hugged him as best as she could without crashing. **Unfortunately, she didn't see the car coming at her.

"Sara! Look out!"

IN ARAGORN'S JEEP

"I can't believe you told him that, Faythe! What were you thinking?"

Faythe sighed. "I was thinking I was doing the right thing. He had a right to know!"

Aragorn looked at her. "Faythe, sweetie, I know you were trying to help, but there was nothing going on."

**Faythe looked at him, sort of staring in disbelief. "You really think so? I really think there's something going on. Sara's my best friend, I know when something's going on." She tapped her temple. "I've got spidey senses."**

**Aragorn snorted. "Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."**

"Don't use your big speeches on me!"

This apparently ended the conversation. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

KURAMA'S CAR

Kurama was the first back to Faythe's house. Which was surprising because he hadn't really known how to get there.


	3. 3 We Won!

_Disclaimer: See Chapter Two._

Author's Note: I want to remind the readers that there are some homosexual references (to put it mildly) in this story. If this bothers you, read something about fluffy gay ponies.

**Chapter Three**

**We Won!**

WITH SARA AND HIEI

There was a squeal of tires and a flash of black light. Sara's car went flying into the guardrail. **She screamed and both of them transported to Faythe's house.**

**"Why didn't we do this in the first place?" Sara asked Hiei, who shrugged.**

**Kurama was at the door, but didn't go inside. "It's locked," he explained.**

**Sara flipped her hair off of her shoulders. "Stand back," she said dramatically. She picked the lock with a bobby pin and the door sprung open. "Voila!" she cried triumphantly. "Casa Cook!"**

"What?"

Sara shrugged. "I heard Faythe say it once." They all went into the house.

"Okay. What should we do first?"

Sara smiled. "Let's go walking!"

"We just broke into her house and now you want to go walking?"

Sara nodded. "Screwing with Faythe's mind is fun!"

**Hiei snorted. "What mind?"**

**"That's not very nice," Sara said.**

**"What's not very nice?" Faythe asked, waddling around the corner of the building.**

**"My comment that you have no mind," Hiei replied.**

**"Whose what comment?" Aragorn asked as he got out of the car.**

"Never mind, sweetie."

"Okay."

While this was going on, Kurama had turned on the radio. The DJ was talking about winning a trip to Europe. Sara smiled and looked at Kurama. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

AIRPORT

"I can't believe we won!" Faythe was very excited. She looked at Sara. "Aren't you excited, Sara?"

"Hn."

**Kurama looked at Faythe. "Are you sure they'll let you fly?"**

**"I don't see why not," she replied. She stared off into space…and saw Jake and Legolas kissing in a shadowy section of the waiting area. She pointed to them and babbled excitedly. "Oh my God! It's Jake! And Legolas! It's Jake and Legolas together!"**

**Aragorn twitched a little. "Together…how?"**

**She shrugged and replied, "They're making out."**

Sara looked up from the book she was reading. "Are you sure?"

"Yup!"

Hiei came over. "Now what's the matter?"

"Nothing. Never mind."

A voice came over the PA system. "Now boarding flight 313 to Europe at gate 4-A."

Kurama stood up and stretched. "That's us."

**They grabbed their carry-ons and went over to the boarding attendant. Apparently, this was Jake and Legolas' flight, too, because they stopped kissing and grabbed their carry-ons. **

**The ticket taker grabbed their tickets and handed them their stubs. "Enjoy your flight," she said cheerfully. Everyone smiled (at least, half-heartedly) and boarded.**

**"I have these boarding tunnel thingies," Faythe whispered to Sara. "They're scary."**

**Sara snorted and replied. "Don't follow the light, Faythe."**

"I'm being serious!" Sara sighed and shook her head as she took her seat. Faythe sat down next to her.

"Hey…"

Faythe looked at Sara. "What?"

"Nothing." Sara put her headphones on and leaned against the window.

Kurama sat down next to Faythe. "Where are Hiei and Aragorn?"

Faythe waved her hand dismissively. "Behind us."

As if on cue, Aragorn stuck his head between the seats. "Why do you get to sit next to them?"

**Kurama flashed him a smile. "Because I'm special."**

**Aragorn sighed and sank down in his seat gloomily.**

**Hiei looked at him. "What's the matter? You're not usually so…moody."**

**"No, I'm always moody. I'm just depressed right now."**

**"Uh-huh. Any particular reason?"**

**He sighed and slumped even farther. "I miss Faythe."**

**"She's right in front of you! Don't tell me she's made you soft!"**

**"She has. I don't know how. I'm a sap now." He sighed again. "She's pregnant and I'm the one with the mood swings."**

**"No, she has them, too," Hiei replied. He chuckled softly, and then cleared his throat. "Do you have names ready?"**

**"We're going to name a girl Liela. For a boy, we were going to name him Vincent, after you." At Hiei's weird look he explained, "It was her idea." He sighed once again. "It looks like we're using both names now."**

"You don't want to name him Vincent."

"Why not?"

"You just don't."

Aragorn sighed again and Sara spun around.

"You do that again and I'll rip your throat out." She turned back around. No one spoke. They were all staring at Sara.

"How does she do that?" Aragorn asked. Hiei and Kurama exchanged knowing glances. Faythe smiled at Aragorn.

**Aragorn became perplexed at the smiles. "What? Did I say something funny?"**

**Faythe laughed and ruffled his hair. "No, we just love your innocence."**

**He caught her hand and kissed it. "I'm innocent? What have you done to make me the innocent one?" He grinned at Faythe. "Are you hiding something from me?"**

**She smiled coyly and winked. "Don't you ever doubt it."**

**Sara gagged. "Enough love fest! The in-flight movie's coming on!"**

**Aragorn brightened. "Really? What is it?"**

**She grinned. "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King."**

Hiei and Kurama groaned. "We've seen that movie way too many times."

Sara shrugged. "I don't pick the movie. There's nothing I can do about it." She went back to looking out the window and began to sing in Japanese.

Kurama perked up. "I know that song!"

"You should. You're singing it."

Deep down, Aragorn was still bothered about Sara. "Wait…is there something about Sara I don't know?" In response, Sara's eyes flashed purple. Aragorn's eyes widened. "Did anyone else see that?"

**Faythe sipped the soda a stewardess had given her. "See what?"**

**"Her eyes flashed purple!"**

**Sara raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? And?"**

**"She's not human!"**

**Sara rolled her eyes. "Is this new to you?"**

"Yeah! Why did not you tell me?"

Sara shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."

Aragorn didn't hear a response. He shrank back down into his seat. "You still should have told me."

**Sara looked at Aragorn, then at Faythe. "Are you sure you're not pregnant?"**

**"I'm a guy!"**

**"Is that supposed to mean something to me?"**

**Faythe rolled her eyes. "I'll tell him, Sara. I should have told him before, but I never got around to it." She turned around (with difficulty) to look at Aragorn. "Okay, sweetie, here's the deal. Sara is a fox demon. Actually, she's a rare fox demon."**

**"I'm the only one of my kind!" Sara exclaimed proudly.**

**"Yes. She's the only one of her kind," Faythe repeated to Aragorn.**

**"So…that's a good thing?"**

**Hiei picked up on the explanation. "It's both a blessing and a curse," he said. "On one hand…she's unique and has unique abilities. On the other hand…there are not-so-nice people who think she's unique, too."**

**"Has she always been like this?" Aragorn asked. He was a little confused in all these revelations. **

**"No…at one time, she was human," Kurama replied. "It was actually a plant that made her a demon."**

**"A plant? How?"**

**"Ha ha…that's a funny story," Sara said, almost nervously. "I'll let Kurama explain."**

Kurama stared at her, horrified. "Why do I have to explain?"

"It was your plant."

"Sara, it wasn't my plant."

"Just tell the story!"

Kurama sighed and turned to Aragorn. "Alright. We went on a mission to catch a demon that broke the law. Sara was the first one to spot him and followed him through some bushes. We went after her, but the demon was holding her in front of some sort of flower. Purple smoke was pouring out of it. From what I understand, she breathed in that smoke." He stopped to breathe and Hiei took over.

"There was a flash of black light. Then, the flower disappeared. And there Sara was, with fox ears and a tail. That's about it."

Everyone turned to Sara, who shrugged. "More or less."

Aragorn slumped in his seat. "Wow."

**"And here we are today!" Sara cried out.**

**"But…why did the plant do that?"**

**Hiei's turn to sigh. "You ask a lot of questions, don't you?"**

**Faythe ruffled his hair again. "He has an insatiable appetite to know."**

**"Noted," Hiei said. He turned to Aragorn. "The plant takes away the demon inside the demon. It takes everything that makes you what you are (as far as demonic qualities go) and rips them away from you. In other words, it makes you human."**

**Aragorn's eyes lit up. "And because Sara _was_ human…"**

**"Because Sara was human, she became a demon. Understand?"**

**"Yeah. But wh-"**

**"Flight 313, now arriving in London. Flight 313 is now arriving. Within the next five minutes, we will be landing. Please place trays in an upright and locked position and fasten your seatbelts!"**

**They unboarded with their luggage. At the baggage counter, they bumped into Legolas and Jake again.**

**"Oh my God! What are you guys doing here?" Jake exclaimed.**

**Faythe answered for the group. "We won a trip to Europe! What are you guys doing here?"**

**Legolas replied, "We're…uh…on a vacation."**

**Aragorn looked at Legolas with his reassuring/creepy look. "Legolas, you don't have to hide from us. We know."**

**Jake still kept up the charade. "What are you talking about?"**

**Legolas laid a hand on his shoulder. "Stop. They need to know. They're our friends, Jake. And besides, they've already figured us out."**

**Faythe chimed in. "Actually we-"**

**Sara kicked her. "We just could tell. You guys are too cute together for us not to become suspicious!"**

**Jake blushed and mumbled something incoherent.**

**"I'm sorry. What was that, Jake?" Kurama asked politely.**

**He muttered louder but no more coherent. **

**"One more time, please? I still didn't catch that."**

**Jake cleared his throat and announced loudly, "We're getting married!"**

**Faythe exclaimed, "Yay! We are, too!"**

**Aragorn blinked. "When?"**

**Legolas shrugged. "Sometime during the trip."**

**"No, no, I meant, 'when are Faythe and I getting married?' Not 'when are you and Jake getting married?'"**

**"Oh."**

**"In that case…I don't know." Faythe thought for a moment. "When do you want to get married, honey?"**

**Aragorn shrugged. "Maybe in France?"**

**"Okay! We can have a double wedding!" Faythe exclaimed. She grabbed for her luggage, but Sara and Kurama had already grabbed all of it.**

**Sara's face was nearly covered by the five bags she was carrying in front of her. "Come on, let's get this show on the road! I want to see Buckingham Palace!" And she ran out to the rental agency to get a car.**


	4. 4 The Queen of England

_Disclaimer: Same as the other three, except I don't own the Queen of England or Buckingham Palace._

**Chapter Four**

**The Queen of England**

BUCKINGHAM 

"This place is bigger than I expected. Isn't it lovely, Sara?"

Sara looked up from the bush she and Kurama were inspecting. "Sure." She turned back to the bush.

Aragorn put his arm around Faythe. "What does she know? I think it's cool."

Legolas came up behind them. "Just ignore her."

They were all interrupted when Kurama and Sara started yelling. Hiei was shocked. Kurama never yelled! "I'm telling you, you're wrong! That's not the name!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No!"

Sara thought for a moment. "Wait. We're both right. It goes by both names."

"Oh, yeah."

Faythe came up and hit them. Or, she tried to. Both ducked at the same time and glared at her. Sara pointed at the castle. "Go bother the guards or something."

"Okay." Faythe ran off.

"No! I was joking! Come back!"

GUARDS

Faythe was poking a guard in the chest. "Blink or something!" The guard was just staring at her.

The others came up behind her. "Faythe, maybe we should go inside," Legolas said, giving the guard a nervous glance.

"But…"

"Now!" Sara ushered them all inside.

INSIDE THE CASTLE

Hiei was examining a suit of armor when Jake came over. "Check it out!" He was swinging a sword around.

"Jake, that isn't a-" Hiei cried out in pain and stumbled backward, crashing into the armor. Sara was there in an instant, yelling at Jake and checking on Hiei.

Just then, the queen came over. She stood there, her hands on her hips. "Stop bleeding on my carpet, dammit!"

Sara calmly bandaged Hiei's arm before turning to the queen. **"Who the hell do you think you are? My husband is bleeding, possibly dying, and all you can say is 'STOP BLEEDING ON MY CARPET'?" She breathed heavily and glared at the queen. "If it's not okay for him to bleed wherever he so chooses, then I'M THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!"**

**Faythe laid a hand on Sara's shoulder. "Sara, hon, that _is_ the Queen of England."**

"I don't care! The Queen of England can-" She stopped. "The Queen of England?" Sara flushed and bowed her head. "Please accept my apologies."

The queen smiled and waved a hand dismissively. "Nonsense. Even if you were rude, you have spunk. I admire that."

A short silence followed that line. "You…admire that?"

"Absolutely."

Sara was frozen. Then, she snapped out of her trance and shrugged. "Whatever," she said, walking away. "Come on, guys."

**Legolas walked up to the queen, flashed a debonair smile, winked, and kissed her hand. "M'lady," she said in a voice thick with honey, "may we meet again on better terms."**

**The queen smiled. "You have manners. I wish all the men of you generation were as you are."**

**Legolas pretended to blush. He bowed to her and walked out, following the others. **

**The queen smiled to herself. "Even if you are as queer as a pink picnic basket."**

The group had found the library. They were searching for something else to see. After about half an hour, Sara slammed her book down. "I got nothin'!"

"Here's something! No…wait…that's in China. Never mind."

Hiei was asleep in the corner and Kurama, Legolas, and Aragorn were pouring over book after book. God only knew where Jake was.

Faythe put her book back on the shelf. "What are we going to do?"

Sara went to the corner and sank down next to Hiei. She put her head on his shoulder. "I don't care. One of you find something." She yawned.

**Faythe was reading a book called, Touring London. She ran across an interesting article. "Hey! It says here that every house where an interesting or famous person has lived is marked with a blue plaque!"**

"**Oh yeah, we're gonna walk the streets of London, looking for houses with little blue plaques on them?" Hiei said, waking up enough to make fun of Faythe. "That's not going to happen."**

**THE STREETS OF LONDON**

"I can't believe we're doing this!" Faythe and Aragorn had managed to drag Hiei out of the palace and into the street. Kurama had followed, but Legolas had gone off to find Jake.

"Bright light," Sara whispered and she buried her face in Kurama's neck. Hiei glared at them.

Faythe smiled at him. "I'm sure if you were tall enough, she would do that to you." Hiei didn't have a chance to comment because, at that moment, Aragorn pointed to a house.

"There's one!"

Faythe squinted. "Oh my God! It's Edgar Allen Poe's house!"

Hiei cocked an eyebrow. "Who?"

Sara snorted. "He's one of Faythe's favorite authors. I can't stand him myself."

"Well no one asked you."

Sara yawned and sat down on the curb. They all looked at her.

Kurama got down on one knee and felt her forehead. "Maybe you should go to bed."

"No. I'm fine."

He sighed and handed her a blue plant. "Here. Eat this."

Sara ate and smiled. "Thanks. It's probably jet lag or something anyway…"

Faythe stared at them, horrified. "Did you just eat a blue plant?"

"Yeah…"

"**NEVER EAT THE BLUE ONES!"**

"**Why not?" Sara was perplexed, not for herself, but for her friend.**

"**Blue is not a natural plant color! There are no plants, that aren't hybrids, which produce blue fruits or flowers! Blue is a color of poison!"**

"**Yeah, well, it tasted all right to me."**

"**Do you really think I'd poison Sara?" Kurama asked, quietly simmering with anger. **

**Faythe looked down sheepishly. "Well, no, but I was concerned! I thought-"**

"**Yeah. That's your problem. You think," Hiei said.**

"'**All the world's a stage,'" said Aragorn, more to himself than to anyone else.**

"**What does that have to do with anything?" Sara demanded.**

"**It's from a song: 'All the world's indeed a stage/And we are merely players/Performers and portrayers/To each another's audience/Inside the gilded cage.' It's a good song." Everyone looked at him weird. "I was watching you argue, and it looked like something in a movie, so I said to myself, 'all the world's a stage.'"**

"**Okay…moving on…let's go to a pub!" Faythe exclaimed.**

"**You can't drink," Legolas pointed out. He had returned with Jake, but hadn't been noticed in all the commotion.**

"At least, not by human standards." Everyone turned to Sara. She shrugged. "She can drink in the Makai."

"Unfortunately, you three are the only ones who have any idea how to get to the Makai."

This was followed by three responses of, "I'm not going."

Faythe sighed. "Fine." She thought for a moment. "Let's go to France!"

"What about the blue plaques?"

"Who cares? I want to go to France!"


	5. 5 Le Amore

_Disclaimer: See Chapter Four._

_Author's Note: There are very many sexual innuendoes in this chapter, so very young children should not be reading this fic. Not that very young children can read, but I feel obliged to warn the genius kids anyways._

**Chapter Five**

**Le Amore**

FRANCE

Sara collapsed on the bed. "So…tired…"

Hiei flopped down next to her. "So am I. We haven't slept in at least two days. Or…was it three?"

"Who cares? I'm going to bed." She kissed Hiei. "Good night."

FAYTHE AND ARAGORN'S ROOM

"I feel bad. Kurama is in a room all by himself."

Aragorn blinked. "He didn't seem to care, Faythe."

"Maybe he keeps his emotions bottled up inside."

**"Why would he do that?"**

**"Because he's really lonely deep down inside and hurts too bad to even think about it, let alone tell somebody else," Faythe theorized. She had a sad look in her eyes.**

**"Do you know that from experience, Faythe?" Aragorn asked gently. The look of sorrow on her face was almost too much.**

**"Not anymore." And the look was gone. Whatever she'd been thinking about or reliving was gone, as well; repressed back into the deep recesses of her memory. "I have you."**

**They hugged and kissed and said good night, falling asleep soon after.**

KURAMA'S ROOM

Kurama was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was tired, but he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking back to earlier that day. Why had Sara been acting like that? She had claimed it was jet lag, but he wasn't sure. After thinking about this for a while, he went to sleep. Only to be woken up by a nightmare. "There's no use. I can't sleep like this." He got up and went into the hall. The nightmare had really freaked him out.

SARA AND HIEI'S ROOM

There was a knock on the door. Sara woke up and looked at the clock. 10:45. "Who the hell?" She got up and opened the door. "Kurama? What's the matter?"

Kurama blushed when he looked at Sara, who was only in a t-shirt. "Don't be modest, Kurama. What's the matter?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Sara smiled. "That's all? Come in. You can share the bed with me and Hiei."

"All right."

NEXT MORNING

Legolas opened the door to Sara's room with his keycard. "Rise and…oh my God!"

Kurama sat up and blushed. "It isn't what it looks like!"

Legolas laughed and went to get Faythe and Aragorn. He turned and ran into them. Aragorn was staring straight ahead at the people on the bed. **Faythe was enthralled.**

**Jake was bored. "So it's a threesome. Who cares?" Jake said, yawning. "If you don't mind, I'm going back to bed." He turned to Legolas. "You can join me if you like."**

**Legolas looked at him blankly for a minute before catching the gist of the comment. "Oh! No, not now. We have to look after Sara, Hiei and Kurama."**

**Jake scoffed and left, muttering something about sexy gay demons.**

**Aragorn snapped out of his trance. "Well…I can tell you three have been busy."**

**Sara scowled angrily. 'You don't even know what you're talking about! Kurama had a bad dream!"**

**Faythe snickered. "Were you in it?"**

**Kurama blushed. "No! Well, yes, but not how you're thinking!"**

**Legolas quoted now, using the same one Aragorn had used earlier. "'Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.'"**

**"That's my line!" Aragorn said angrily.**

**"Actually, it was first said by-" Aragorn punched Faythe in the arm, making her shut up.**

Sara glared at Legolas. "If I was in that dream THAT way, it wouldn't have been a bad dream. Would it?" Kurama turned red again.

"You know Kurama," Aragorn said thoughtfully, "you certainly are blushing a lot. Considering nothing was going on…"

Hiei sat up now and looked around. "Oh damn. What'd I miss?"

"They think we had a threesome."

"What?" He turned to look at Sara and Kurama, his eyes wide. "What are you doing in here?"

**"I had a bad dream."**

**"Ugh! Always a bad dream! Was it the same one as before?"  
Kurama turned red(der). "Sort of, yes."**

**Hiei sighed. "What are they doing in our bedroom? In our house?"**

**Sara laid a hand on his shoulder. "Honey, we're in a hotel room. In France."**

**"WHAT? When did that happen?"**

**Legolas chuckled. "He's really disoriented when he wakes up, isn't he?"**

"You'd be too!"

Faythe turned to Kurama. "What exactly happened in this dream?"

All attention was on Kurama. "Well…I'm walking through Sara's house, looking for her. But, I can't, so I walk outside and…" He trailed off and started making choking sounds.

Sara put her arms around him and glared at the others. "Are you happy? Kurama, sweetie, you don't have to finish."

**He looked at Sara with appreciation. "Thanks. Water!"**

**Faythe brought him a glass of water. He drank too quickly and it made the choking worse.**

**"Faythe!" Sara exclaimed angrily. "That didn't help much!" She patted Kurama on the back. "Get it out, Kurama. Stop thinking about the dream."**

**Kurama's face relaxed and he smiled. "Thanks, Sara."**

**Hiei rolled his eyes. "Can you get out of my room now?" he said to Faythe, Aragorn, Legolas and Kurama.**

**"Fine," Legolas said haughtily. "I'll take up Jake's offer."**

**"I need a shower. I feel unclean," Kurama said. Faythe and Aragorn left without comment and fell back asleep.**

Hiei looked at Sara. "Did you have to let him in?"

"Yes! He had a nightmare!"

Hiei rolled his eyes again. "Well, I'm up for the morning. I'm going to take a shower."

"Alright."

AT BREAKFAST

All the trauma was over for the morning. Faythe filled a plate and sat down at their table. Sara looked at the food. "How can you eat that crap?"

"Look at what you have! Fruit! Nothing but fruit!"

Kurama looked at Faythe. "Fruit is healthier for you."

"No one asked you!"

Sara stood up and stormed off. She came back wit ha doughnut. "There. Better?"

**"Yeah, but you won't eat it."**

**Sara looked at the donut. Her lip curled involuntarily. "You're right, Faythe. I'm going to throw it away." And she did.**

**Faythe hung her head. "Another dead soldier."**

**Aragorn patter her on the shoulder. "There, there, dear. It's not good for you anyways."**

**"Yeah, I guess."**

**Just then, Legolas and Jake burst into the dining area in tuxedos. "Who wants to get hitched?"**

**Aragorn and Faythe raised their hands.**

**"I need a dress!"**

**"I need a tux! And some rings!" They ran around like chickens with their heads cut off.**

**Jake and Legolas whipped a dress (that was maternity fit) and a tuxedo from behind their backs. From a pocket in the tux, Legolas produced a small velvet box containing two Mithril wedding bands.**

**Aragorn and Faythe stared at them, dumbfounded. "How did you do it?"**

**"We decided being married was more important than rolling around in the sheets," Jake replied with a wolfish grin. "And we didn't want you to miss out on the fun!"**

**Sara got excited. "What are we waiting for? Let's get licenses!"**


	6. 6 For Whom the Wedding Bell Tolls

_Disclaimer: I own Sara, Faythe, Jake, Jacques, and the drunken minister. Disney owns Snow White, Tolkien owns Aragorn and Legolas, and I don't know who owns Hiei and Kurama. Sara probably does. I don't know anything._

_Author's Note: They had to get married sometime, didn't they?_

**Chapter Six**

**For Whom the Wedding Bell Tolls **

**AT THE CHAPEL**

Sara looked around at the chapel. Hiei was next to her. "Hiei."

"What?"

"We're the only ones here."

"And?"

"We're in jeans!"

Hiei shook his head. "You're in jeans."

"It doesn't matter."

Hiei smiled. "You're just saying that."

"Yeah."

Just then, the music started. The doors opened up and Faythe and Legolas walked down the isle. They stopped in front of the minister, who was sort of wobbling. Sara leaned over to Hiei and whispered, "He's drunk! I can smell it!"

Kurama quietly walked in, his nose scrunched up. "Why do I smell alcohol?"

**Hiei looked at Kurama. "Why are you wearing a tux?"**

**Kurama smiled. "This is supposed to be a formal occasion." He turned to Sara. "Why aren't you in a dress?"**

**Sara put her hand on her hip. "Do I look like I should be in a dress?"**

**"Not really." He thought for a moment. "Who's got the camera?"**

**"Crap!" Sara shouted.**

**"Damn," Hiei said calmly. He seemed bored. "Are they going to start soon?"**

**"I have zee camera," said another voice behind them.**

**Sara whirled around saw—Jacques. "What are you doing here?"**

**"I live here."**

**"In the chapel?"**

**"Above zee chapel." He looked sad, more aged and with harder lines on his face than when they had last seen him, even though only a few months had passed. "I lost zee job in America, I moved back home." **

**"Oh." The music began again and Aragorn and Jake walked in. The minister had a greenish look on his face.**

**"Holy shit, he's gonna blow!" Sara said—a little too loudly. The entire chapel turned and glared at her. The minister turned the other way and barfed into a potted plant.**

"Told you so." She received another glare.

"Ahem. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite…these two groups of people in holy matrimony…" The minister gave the rest of his speech. The couples said their vows and kissed and the minister stumbled off.

Faythe ran over to Sara. "I'm so happy!"

She hugged Sara. "I'd say I was happy for you, but that would be WAY too much emotion for me right now."

**Kurama smiled at the four of them. "Congratulations."**

**Hiei shrugged. "Yeah. Whatever."**

**Sara was staring blankly, lost in thought. "Where's the reception going to be?"**

**They all stopped talking and thought about how that posed a problem.**

**"Will there only be zee seven of you?" Jacques asked.**

**"Yeah…wait, why?" Faythe replied skeptically.**

**"We can celebrate in my apartment. It's only right above zee chapel," Jacques replied.**

**"And you're not going to try and kidnap us again?" Sara asked. **

**"Of course not! My wife doesn't like to have company for more than a few hours."**

**Hiei frowned. "Your wife? Who did you marry?"**

**Jacques grinned. "You'll see."**

**They all agreed to at least try to let Jacques make up for kidnapping Sara and Faythe. They'd already made Dennis pay, so if Jacques proved himself a worthy host, bygones would be bygones.**

**"Why not?" Jake said aloud.**

**"Great! Fantastic! Oh, this will be most exciting!" Jacques exclaimed. He babbled in French as she led them up a staircase at the back of the chapel.**

**JACQUE'S APARTMENT…AND HIS WIFE**

Jacques was still talking in French. Sara turned and yelled something in German. Kurama started laughing. Just then, Jacques' wife came in the room. Blank stares greeted her. It was…

"Snow White?"

Snow White smiled. "In the flesh…so to speak." She turned to Sara. "Lovely to see you, my dear."

"Do I know you?"

**"You should! I know you all too well," Snow White replied. She turned to Jacques. A bemused expression seemed to be a constant with her. "Are these old friends, darling?"**

**Jacques nodded. "We go back."**

**Aragorn snorted. "All the way to Disney's underground kidnapping adventure."**

"Kidnapping?" She took a closer look at Faythe and Sara. "Ah, yes. That's my favorite story."

Faythe took an involuntary step back. Sara looked around for a weapon. "You're just as crazy as he is!"

The guys instantly stepped in front of Faythe and Sara. "Was this a set up?"

Jacques shook his head. "Of course not. Dear, go get refreshments, please."

"Sure sweetie." Snow White went into the kitchen.

**Aragorn hung his head. "I thought we'd escaped all of the horrid Disneyworld memories."**

**Sara sighed. "Yeah, well, apparently not. Do you think they're both crazy?"**

**Faythe snorted. "Jacques is, we know that for sure. And she married him, so she must be insane."**

**Kurama was puzzled. "What's the big deal here? What happened in Disneyworld?"**

**Hiei glared at nothing. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."**

**"You don't mean that."**

**"No. I couldn't kill you." Hiei sighed. "It's just frustrating." **

**"What is?" asked Jake.**

**"Europe, Kurama's dreams, weddings, the Queen of England…pretty much everything."**

**"Aw, come on! That doesn't sound like the Hiei I know!" Faythe exclaimed in a falsely cheery voice. "The Hiei I know would kick ass and then complain there wasn't a good enough fight! The Hiei I know would never feel sorry for himself! Put your scowl on, Hiei!"**

Sara glared at Faythe. "The Faythe I know is smart enough to keep her mouth shut. No…wait." Hiei smiled at her and she gave him a hug.

"Aw. Look at you two. You guys should get married."

Sara and Hiei looked at each other. At the same time, they shouted, "NO!"

"Besides, Aragorn, we're already married. Well, nothing official. But, it's good enough for us."

"Right."

Jake clapped his hands together. "I think it would be sweet! With flowers and stuff. Nice music…"

"Dude. You're putting more thought into my wedding than you did yours."

**"We thought about our wedding!" Jake and Legolas protested in unison.**

**Faythe placed a hand on Jake's shoulder. "Don't do that again, savvy?"**

**"Savvy."**

**Snow White emerged from the kitchen. "Who wants crab cakes?"**

The guys took one, but Faythe and Sara looked at each other. "You try one."

Sara shook her head. "There is no way in hell I'm eating one."

Faythe shrugged and popped one in her mouth. "Hey! This is pretty good! **Thanks, Snow White!"**

**Snow White bowed and smiled. "You're most welcome, dearest. Anything else you need let me know."**

**"Beer!" Aragorn requested.**

**"Cherry Coke, please," said Kurama.**

**"2 more beers, please," Legolas said, ordering for both him and Jake.**

**"Beer for me, too," Hiei requested.**

**"I'll have a Pepsi," said Sara.**

**"Me, too!" Faythe bubbled.**

**"And I'll have wine," Jacques finished.**

**Snow White smiled again. "Anything else? No? I'll be right back."**

**"Is she always this helpful?" Faythe asked Jacques.**

**Jacques smiled. "Yes, she is. She's pregnant, you know."**

**"Really? Me, too!" Faythe exclaimed.**

**Sara whacked Faythe upside the head. "How far is she?"**

**"Six weeks." Jacques ate a crab cake. "These are good, thought I'm sure some among you prefer funnel cakes, non?"**

**Faythe blushed, but quickly snapped herself out of it. "Are you excited?"**

**"Very! I'm sure Sara knows why."**

**Hiei looked puzzled. "Sara? Why would Sara know anything about that?"**

**Sara looked surprised. "I don't kn- oh, I remember!" She looked at Hiei. "Originally, when Jacques kidnapped me, it was because he wanted to marry me so I could bear his children."**

**Jacques nodded in agreement. Hiei's puzzled look became a look of anger. "You wanted to marry and screw my wife?"**

**Jacques nodded again and Hiei punched him. Jacques screamed in agony. "You broke my nose!"**

**Snow White popped her head out of the kitchen. "What's going on?"**

**Aragorn grabbed the drinks. "We're going to take these to go." He chugged his beer, handed the others their drinks, and hightailed it out of the chapel with the others close behind.**

**BACK AT THE HOTEL**

**"Why didn't you kill him, Aragorn?" Faythe asked.**

**"Because I didn't want to kill anyone on our wedding day," he explained.**

**"Where are we going now?" Sara asked.**

**Kurama picked up a pamphlet off the desk. "There's a tour bus coming here in half an hour to the Eiffel Tower." He looked up from the pamphlet. "Want to go?"**

**"Yeah!" Legolas exclaimed. "Let's get changed into more comfortable clothes and get out of here."**

EIFFEL TOWER

Sara and Faythe stared up at the flag on the Eiffel Tower. Faythe turned to Sara. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"  
"Of course!"

They ran over and rode the elevator to the top. Kurama and the others came up behind them. "What are you doing?" They gave the guys a smile and began to climb up the tower.

"Girls!"

"You can't climb that!"

The girls didn't hear them, though. They had already reached the top. "Grab the flag, Faythe!"

Faythe ripped the flag off the top and looked at Sara. "What do we do now?"

Sara took a seed out of her hair and threw it in the air. Instantly, huge leaves sprouted. She grabbed one and handed it to Faythe. "Jump!"

The guys came over, followed by security.

"Maybe we should leave."

"Good idea."


	7. 7 G'day, Mate!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Australia. But, boy, wouldn't it be cool if I did? I'd be the Supreme Ruler of All Australians! Bow before me, mate! Bow! Ahem I'm okay now. _

_Author's Note: Yes, yes, I know, Australia is not in Europe, it's false titling to say that it is, blah, blah, blah. That's exactly what Sara said when I proposed we write it in. But man, I love Australia._

**Chapter Seven **  
**G'day, Mate!**

**AT THE AIRPORT**

**"So, we're fleeing to Australia?" Jake asked.**

**"No, we're not fleeing. We didn't break any laws," Sara replied.**

**After the Eiffel Tower incident, they pretty much were fleeing-minus an angry mob, of course. Everyone was worn out. Sara had made last-minute reservations for the flight and Jake had arranged for them to have four hotel rooms when they landed.**

**"You're sure we didn't break any laws, Sara?" Faythe asked. She'd been asking that since they left the Eiffel Tower.**

**"No! For the last time, we broke nothing!" Hiei shouted.**

**Faythe stuck out her tongue. "I asked Sara, not you." Sara hit her.**

**"Now boarding Flight 219 to Sydney. 219 to Sydney at Gate 4B. Thank you."**

**"That's us," Kurama said, grabbing his carry-on.**

**Aragorn sighed. "Might as well get on now. NO use procrastinating."**

**A Jose Quervo Bar and Grill was right outside the gate. Faythe's stomach growled. "Can we get some nachos first? I'm starving."**

**Hiei looked at the restaurant and realized he was hungry, too. "Maybe just one order. We can eat quickly and still make boarding."**

**"Yay!" Faythe exclaimed, going off and grabbing a table.**

**Kurama sighed. "I have a feeling we won't make this flight."**

Twenty minutes later, Sara and Kurama got fed up. "That's it! I don't care if none of you have eaten!" Sara stormed over to Hiei and dragged him to the gate. Aragorn had managed to stall the pilot. Kurama grabbed Faythe and ran for the plane.

Faythe glared at him as she sat down. "I wasn't done eating!"

Aragorn sat down next to her. "Sweetie, I don't think they care…" In front of them, Sara, Kurama and Hiei were sharing the Pocky Sara had brought.

Faythe leaned over Hiei's seat. "I want some! Please?"

"Sorry. It's all gone."

**"There's half a box left!" Faythe cried indignantly.**

**"Umm…no there isn't?" Sara said, trying to fool Faythe.**

**"Yes, there it! That's not going to work on me this time!"**

**Kurama caught on. "Faythe, you're imagining the Pocky because you want some. Your mind's playing tricks on you."**

**"Really?"**

**"Really really."**

**Faythe sat back in her seat, dazed and confused. Eventually, she fell asleep; and started to snore.**

**Aragorn had been listening to a book and heard the snoring loudly through the headphones. "Does anybody else hear that?"**

**Sara turned around and glared at him. "No. We don't hear a thing."**

**"Really? Wow…it's really loud, though," Jake said.**

**Sara rolled her eyes and ate some more Pocky.**

Eventually, Hiei got tired to the snoring. "Someone shut her up."

Sara smiled at him. "Okay." She turned and put duct tape over Faythe's mouth. "Thank you." Kurama had fallen asleep on Sara's shoulder. Hiei looked at him and snorted. Sara smiled again and rubbed Kurama's head. "I think he's cute."

**"Cute?" said Hiei, trying not to sound alarmed.**

**"Aw, you're cute, too, Hiei," Sara said, winking at him. "Just…in a different way."**

**"Ah. I feel better now."**

**Legolas was tired. He started to nod off, but Jake poked him in the arm. "Are we there yet?"**

**Legolas yawned. "Not yet." He nodded off again.**

**"Are we there now?"**

"Shut up!"

Jake looked at him, surprised. "Fine. Geez." Legolas went back to sleep and this time Jake didn't wake him up.

Aragorn had been watching them. He leaned over and whispered something in Sara's ear. Sara started laughing quietly.

"What did he say?"

"Never mind." Hiei couldn't continue the conversation. Someone had come over the intercom.

"We will be landing shortly. Thank you for flying with us!"

**Jake sighed deeply. He twiddled his thumbs. He tapped his foot. He poked Legolas, who woke up.**

**"Are we there yet, Jake?"**

**"No! I'm bored."**

**"Really? The intercom said it's almost landing."**

**"How would you know? You were asleep."**

**"Elves only half sleep. You should know that by now."**

**"Oh. Are we there yet?"**

Legolas let out a scream of frustration, which caused everyone to look at him. The plane landed and Legolas was escorted off. The others followed quickly. Jake tried to get the officer to let Legolas go, but he wouldn't.

Sara looked at the others. "Watch this." She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, they were bright purple. She walked over to the officer. Their eyes held and she smiled slowly. "You want to let him go. You want to let him walk away. You never want to mention this again. In fact, you want to forget this ever happened."

The officer was swaying slightly. He let Legolas out of the car and took the handcuffs off. As the group was walking away, he smiled to himself. "What a nice group of kids."

**Aragorn's jaw hung wide open. "How did you DO that? I would have just killed the guy!"**

**Faythe winked and smiled at him. "We forgot to mention exactly what Sara's powers are."**

**"Oops," Sara said.**

**Kurama looked out the door at the terminal. "Our ride's here."**

**"What's our ride?" Hiei asked.**

**Kurama smiled. "A limo."**

"I've never been in a limo before."

"Come to think of it, neither have I." Actually, none of them had. They all piled in and the limo drove to their hotel.

HOTEL

Everyone got out of the limo and unpacked their luggage. Aragorn had been avoiding Sara. Faythe noticed and frowned at him. "What's the matter? Why won't you talk to her?"

**"She's not human!"**

**"Baby, I'm not human, either."**

**"That doesn't count! I love you despite your inhumanness."**

**Faythe coked an eyebrow. "But if you love me, you'll love Sara, even if she isn't human."**

**Aragorn sighed. "Only for you."**

**Faythe shook her head. "No. Do it for Sara."**

**He sighed again. "Okay. For Sara."**

**Faythe smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."**

Sara looked over at them. She seemed sad. Aragorn and Faythe looked up and she turned away. Aragorn went over and put his arm around her. "I have nothing against you. It's just…your eyes kind of freak me out."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm still getting used to them."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Faythe came over. "Is everything okay?"

"Yup."

Kurama came over, yawning. "Good. I'm tired."

**Legolas yawned. "For some reason, I am, too." He shot Jake a look, who grinned.** Faythe and Aragorn snorted.

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Right."

Aragorn headed into the hotel. "I'll check us in."

After a while, he came back and handed them all keys. "Kurama, your room is joined with Sara and Hiei. Faythe and I are joined with Legolas and Jake. Any questions? No? Good." He yawned. "I'm going to bed."

"Hm. Ditto," Faythe replied. They left for their room.

"Well, I don't know why all of you are so sleepy!" Sara shouted. "I'm fine!"

"C'mon, Sara. We're going to bed," Hiei said, yawning himself.

"But I'm not-" yawn "-sleepy."

"Uh huh. Good night, guys."

Jake and Legolas went to bed and so did Kurama. They all slept (even Sara) until the next morning.

MORNING

Kurama woke up and stared up at glowing purple eyes. He gasped and backed away slightly. Sara looked down at him. She was floating, and holding on to his arm.

"Sara, what are you doing?"

"I didn't want you to have a nightmare again."

Before Kurama could respond, Faythe ran in. "Did you guys see the pool? It's huge!"

**"Why were you in the pool? It's only 7 AM!" Kurama asked.**

**"Uh, Kurama, look at the clock," Faythe said.**

**Kurama was dumbfounded. "It's 11? But…how?"**

They looked at Sara. "I didn't do it."

Faythe smiled. "Who cares? We're going swimming! Get your suits on!" She left.

Sara looked at Kurama. "Get your suit on. I'll wake Hiei."

**Faythe went to get everybody else up and dressed and wasn't always received well. When she went to wake Jake and Legolas, they were already awake and in their suits.**

**Faythe was puzzled. "How did you-?"**

**Jake interrupted her. "We got a call from Sara. She said you'd be coming."**

**"Oh." Faythe was silent for a minute. "So…you're all ready to go?"**

**"Yep," Legolas replied.**

**"Cool! You can help wake up Hiei!" They protested. "No, you have to! Come on!"**

**HIEI'S ROOM**

**Hiei was sound asleep, snoring lightly. The room was nearly plunged into total darkness, but for a strip of light under the door to the hallway. Faythe burst in. "Good morning, Hiei! Rise and shine! Up and at 'em!"**

**Hiei rolled over. "Go away. Let me sleep."**

**Legolas replied, "It's swimming time, Hiei!"**

**Hiei shot straight up. "S-s-swimming?"**

**"Yep! Get ready! We're going to wake up Aragorn!" Faythe said cheerfully, shutting the door.**

**Hiei groaned. "I hate swimming. Damn the water demons."**

**ARAGORN'S ROOM**

Once again, Faythe burst in shouting. Aragorn glared at her. "Faythe, do you see my sword in the corner?"

"Yes."

"Don't make me use it."

Faythe took an involuntary step back. "Right. We're going swimming! Come on!"


	8. 8 Cockroaches on the Pool Deck

_Disclaimer: I'm sure by now you know what I own and what I don't_

_Author's Note: Here's a little story behind the story. Sara is, indeed, a vegetarian, and she was very upset when I wrote that everyone wanted a burger. She said, "I wouldn't want a burger! Why would I ever order a burger?" Then, using pretzel logic to get out of trouble, I said, "Yeah, but you eat poultry, right?" She grudgingly agreed, "Sometimes." I said, "Ostrich is a bird. Poultry. I win." She let it go, but the next day she yelled, "I didn't know it was poultry when I ordered it!" I still tease here about that sometimes. Oh, yeah, and I know that Faythe got a little power hungry, but I never do that in real life. Nope, not me. I MADE A JOKE! LAUGH, READERS! LAUGH!_

**Chapter Eight**

**Cockroaches on the Pool Deck**

POOL

Faythe was in her demon form, which included scales, a lizard-like tail, webbed hands and webbed feet. She was guarding the pool, even though the others swam well. Most of them, anyways.

"Cannonball!" Jake shouted, jumping off the diving board.

Faythe picked up the bullhorn. "NO RUNNING ON DECK!"

"I wasn't running!" Jake shouted back.

Faythe picked up the bullhorn again. "NO BACKSASS!"

"I wasn't backsassing!" The others were watching this with interest. Until Aragorn took the bullhorn from Faythe. He sat down in a chair.

Sara swam over to Jake. "That wasn't a cannonball. Watch this." She did a cannonball. When she resurfaced, she smiled at him.

"**That was good!" Jake said, surprised. "I thought I was doing them right, though."  
Sara patted his shoulder. "You were close."**

**Hiei walked into the pool area. He was still sleepy and shuffled along the pool deck to a lounge chair. **

**Faythe took her bullhorn away from Aragorn. "NO SLEEPING ON THE POOL DECK!"**

**"I wasn't sleeping!"**

**"NO ARGUING WITH THE LIFEGUARD!"**

**"You're the lifeguard?" Hiei asked, surprised.**

**Faythe smiled smugly. "Yep."**

**"We're doomed."**

**"NO PREDICTIONS OF THE APOCALYPSE!"**

"He doesn't have to predict the apocalypse. He married the apocalypse."

"Sara, you aren't the apocalypse."

"She is for some people."

Sara shot Aragorn a dirty look. She got out of the water and sat down next to Hiei. "Hey, sweetie."

Hiei looked at her drowsily. "What?"

Sara kissed his Jagon. "I brought you coffee." She handed him a thermos.

The others stared at her. "You didn't bring us coffee…"

"That's because I don't love you all."

**Faythe whimpered and pouted. "Don't you love me, Sara?"**

**"Of course! But not enough to bring you coffee."**

**Legolas was floating on his back wit his eyes closed. "Mm…coffee…" Jake pushed him down into the water. He came up, sputtering. "Jacob!"**

**"Don't call me Jacob!" Jake yelled playfully, splashing Legolas. They splashed each other back and forth. Kurama, who'd been lounging, got out of the pool.**

**Faythe was in a frenzy. "NO SPLASHING IN THE POOL! NO SPLASHING! NO-" She shrugged. "Aw, the hell with it!" She jumped in and joined the fray.**

Hiei shook his head. "Stupid blondes." Sara's eyes flashed and she glared at him. "Not that you're stupid…Sara?" There was a flash of purple light and Hiei was in the pool.

Aragorn looked at Sara. "Can he swim?"

**Sara looked a little worried. "I…don't…know."**

**Aragorn raised an eyebrow. "Can you swim?"**

**Sara nodded.**

**"Can you swim well enough to save him?"**

**"Probably not."**

**Aragorn dove in and pulled Hiei out of the pool. Hiei shot Aragorn a look. "I didn't need you to save me."**

**Aragorn scoffed. "Yes, you did. Don't thank me, Hiei. You'd have done the same for me. Just…not in a pool."**

"No. I wouldn't."

Kurama walked over to them and helped Hiei up. "You should learn how to swim."

"I'll teach him," Sara said, walking over. "After all, I married him."

Jake climbed out of the pool. "I'm hungry."

Faythe and Legolas got out, also. "So am I."

Aragorn smiled. "We'll go out to breakfast. My treat."

"Alright!"

As the others left, Sara grabbed Hiei's arm. "I'll teach you how to swim tonight."

RESTAURANT

**They were greeted by a cheery Australian female-or, as it is said in the local tongue, a "Sheila"-who led them to a table. "Okay, what'll it be, mates?" she asked pleasantly in a thick accent.**

**The general consensus was burgers, fries, and a varied beverage, usually beer or Pepsi, even though it was morning. It took half an hour for the food.**

**"Could they make us wait a little longer?" Hiei grumbled.**

**Just as Sara was about to reply, they got their food. The burgers looked a little…off. Sara wrinkled her nose. "Excuse me…are they supposed to be so…gray?"**

**"It's ostrich, Sheila," their waiter replied, "it's always gray." He put the bill down and left.**

Sara stared at the "burger" in horror. "Just try it, Sara. It isn't that bad." Sara handed her burger to Faythe and ate her fries.

Their waiter came back. "How is everything?" There was a chorus of "fine"s. He smiled and left.

While Legolas wasn't looking, Jake stole some fries. "So…anybody have plans later on?"

Faythe nodded. "What we always do. Sightseeing!"

**"We're in Australia! What's there to see?" Aragorn asked.**

**"Plenty of stuff. There's that Science Museum we passed on the way to the hotel, there's the zoo, there's the Opera House, and, of course, the world's largest boomerang," Faythe said cheerfully.**

**"$172.98 for burgers and fries!" Kurama exclaimed.**

**Sara grabbed the bill away from him. "Let me see that!" She scanned down to the total and whistled. "Well…who wants to wash dishes?" No one answered.**

**Jake drank his beer and stood up. "I vote we ditch."**

They walked outside just as the cops showed up. "That was fast…"

"This is Australia. They have nothing else to do."

Sara smiled. "I'll handle this. Hello, officer." Just then, three more cops showed up. They were surrounded. "Oh, damn."

Faythe looked at her. "What do you mean by that? You said you could handle it!"

"I can only control one person at a time," Sara whispered.

Aragorn frowned. "Well, that sucks. We can't tell them to all stand single file! What do we do?"

"Run!"

**They ran. Aragorn smiled. "Just like old times, eh?"**

**Kurama was puzzled. "Old times where?"**

**"Old times running from rent-a-cops at Disneyworld."**

**"Ah."**

**"Less talk, more run!" Sara shouted.**

**Cops poured in from all directions. Jake panicked. "They're like freaking cockroaches! They just keep coming!"**

Faythe smiled. "Well, we can handle cockroaches." She stopped and turned around. Her tail sprouted and she turned blue. A fire hydrant next to the officers blew up, spraying water everywhere. Kurama stared in horror as the officers slowed and finally stopped, all staring at Faythe.

"What the hell is that?"

Sara sighed and changed forms. She went over to Faythe, ear twitching in irritation. "Do you have any idea how much energy it takes to erase memories?" She turned to the officers and began counting.

One of the officers passed out. "What are you things?"

Sara and Faythe raised an eyebrow. "Haven't you ever seen a demon?" As is on cue, thirteen officers turned to run. Sara held up a hand and they froze in place. She turned to Faythe. "This is how you deal with problems? Lord."

**Faythe shrugged. "It was fun, though."**

**Aragorn sighed and hugged Faythe. "God, there is something wrong with you." He kissed her. "But I love you for it."**

**Faythe giggled. "Stop!"**

**Sara groaned. "Yes, please, stop."**

**Jake piped in. "Let's go see the world's largest boomerang. I'm kinda bored."**

"No one asked you, Jake."

"Hiei, be nice."

Sara was bending over one of the officers. She stood up. "Done. They won't remember a thing."

"Great!" Faythe clapped her hands together. "We have a boomerang to see!"


	9. 9 Sightseeing and Pick Pocketing

_Disclaimer: I don't own the usuals, you know, and now, I don't own the brief mention of Koenma, either. I do, however, own the tour guide, Dave._

_Author's Note: It's not exciting if we're not broke. I know it sounds weird, but we had to go to the Breez Inn in order for some really cool stuff to happen._

**Chapter Nine**

**Sightseeing and Pick Pocketing**

WORLD'S LARGEST BOOMERANG

"The world's largest boomerang! Oh, boy! I can't believe we're here!" Hiei's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

**A speaker was giving guided tours. As it turns out, the World's Largest Boomerang was a museum, full of world record-breaking objects.**

**Sara shuddered. "That guy reminds me of Dennis…with an Australian accent."**

**_It does look like him_, thought Faythe.**

**Kurama asked, "Who's Dennis?"**

Hiei and Sara shared a look. Sara smiled at Kurama. "Just someone who kidnapped me and Hiei." At Kurama's horrified expression, Sara quickly added that she had killed Dennis.

"Is that why Koenma tried to lock you in jail?"

**Sara shrugged. "Possibly." She shot Legolas and Hiei looks. "As long as somebody didn't tell him."**

**Legolas tried to look innocent. Hiei scoffed. "I didn't say anything."**

**Faythe got in line for the tour. "Come on, guys!"**

**They got in line.**

"This is the world's largest pizza. It took thirty-seven people to make it. They used thirteen gallons of sauce and forty-two pounds of cheese." The tour guide moved to the next display case. "This is the world's largest knife…"

Both Hiei and Sara walked up to the knife. "I have a knife bigger than that."

The tour guide took a step back. "Right."

Sara smiled at him. "Do you want to see?"

"No. That's all right. **This knife is seven feet long and have ten pounds of silver in the handle alone…"**

**Aragorn snorted. "That's not a knife. That's a sword."**

**"…it took three blacksmiths to make it in 1872. Moving along…This is the world's smallest violin. We loan it out occasionally to the Sydney orchestra when they need a sad solo…"**

**"Let me play you a sad song on the world's smallest saxophone," Faythe said.**

"No! Please, people, pay attention." He led them to a greenhouse thing. "This is the world's largest plant. It is almost seven feet tall…"

Someone from the back interrupted. "Trees are taller!"

The tour guide twitched. "Let me rephrase. Largest FLOWER! Anymore question? Good."

Faythe looked at Kurama. "Is that really the largest plant?"

**Sara piped in. "I've seen bigger!"**

**"AAARGHHH!" The tour guide was freaking out.**

**Faythe came up and put her arm around him. "You'll be all right. We're just idiots." The group protested, but Faythe ignored them. "What's your name, love?"**

**He sniffed. "Dave."**

**"Dave. Nice to meet you. Guess what you can add to your museum?"**

**"What?"**

**She pulled out the little functional saxophone Aragorn had bought her. "This."**

**"Wow…where did you get that?" Dave asked incredulously.**

**"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." She turned back to the group. "C'mon, guys, let's go do something else."**

**OUTSIDE THE MUSEUM**

**They were standing outside the museum, trying to figure out what to do next.**

**Jake was in awe of Faythe's skill with Dave, especially when she picked his pocket as they were leaving. "That was so cool, Faythe!"**

**Sara was angry. "How was that cool! Faythe just stole someone's money!"**

**"Sara, I had to. We're broke."**

**"WHAT!" Sara screamed. "WHY didn't ANYONE tell me?"**

**Aragorn, usually bold, flinched at Sara's reaction. "We knew you'd react like that."  
Sara sighed. "How much was in his wallet?"**

**"Some thousands. Either Dave's rich or he's stupid."**

**"We'll count it out when we get back to the hotel."**

**Legolas chuckled nervously. "Yeah…there's a funny story about that."**

**Hiei glowered. "What do you mean, 'a funny story'?" **

**"We…got kicked out. We have nowhere to stay," Jake explained.**

**"How is it that nobody thought to tell us?" Kurama asked gently.**

**The four of them-Faythe, Aragorn, Jake, and Legolas-shared a look. "We didn't want to upset you. You didn't need to be burdened with our problems," Aragorn said.**

**"No problem. We can pay the bill and get back in," Sara said, trying to be cheerful.**

Just then, a fire truck sped by them. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Let's go!"

"Oh, God, no."

"Inari…"

The hotel was on fire. They all stared in silence. "Thank God." Everyone turned to Hiei, who shrugged. "I needed some excitement."

**"Did you do that?" Sara asked.**

**"No! Did Faythe put it out?" **

**"No, I didn't, but I may. I want to have some clothes left in that mess," Faythe replied.**

**"It was a rhetorical question!" Hiei shouted.**

**"Well, how was she supposed to know?" Legolas said in Faythe's defense.**

**"ENOUGH!" Aragorn shouted. "Our stuff is burning to ashes and all you can do is argue? We don't have anything we brought with us! We can't leave, either, because our passports were in the room! All we have is a couple thousand Australian dollars."**

**"What do we do now?" Kurama asked Sara, who shrugged.**

**"I vote we get a hotel room," Jake said.**

**"Yeah, but we can't afford any place nice," Sara said. "That money will only go so far."**

**"I saw a Breez Inn downtown," Faythe offered.**

**"Did it look seedy?" Hiei asked.**

**"Not really," Faythe replied.**

**"Okay. Fine. We'll stay there," Legolas said. "Let's go get a cab."**

**"No, we'll take the bus," Sara said. "Got to save cash."**

**ON THE BUS**

Sara was staring out the window. Kurama sat down next to her. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." She sighed and put her head on his shoulder. 'What are we going to do? We have no luggage. We don't have anywhere to go! We're freakin' fugitives or God only knows what!"

Kurama put his arm around her. "We'll be fine. Everything will be all right."

**"Really? You're sure?"**

**"Of course! When have things ever stayed as bad as they are now?"**

**Sara sighed. "Never. But sometimes it gets worse."**

**"It's not going to get worse. Cheer up, Sara. We're going to be fine." Kurama hugged her.**

**She hugged him back. "We'll be fine," she said to herself, trying to make herself believe it. "We'll be fine."**


	10. 10 Jake's Strawberryflavored Bane

_Disclaimer: I own the Breez Inn and Smoothee King. I don't own anything LOTR or YYH. I also don't own any of the songs that Legolas sings. Any lyrics are reprinted without permission without any intent of a cash profit. They have been reprinted to make a joke._

_Author's Note: What happens here with the Elven tears really would happen if you found yourself in the company of a singing Elf who was depressed. Emotions and sometimes images are imprinted and projected by the beautiful lift of a song sung in Quenya or even in English, so long as it is one of the Mysterious Immortals who sings it._

**Chapter Ten**

**Jake's Strawberry-flavored Bane**

**THE BREEZ INN**

**The place was seedy. The carpets were dark in places they shouldn't have been, long ago stained with Lord knows what. The television got five channels. The lights flickered, the mirrors were grimy and the tub was dirty. They'd only been able to get two rooms, though-because that' all they had available on "short notice." So Kurama, Sara and Hiei were in one room with two double beds (Kurama in one, Sara and Hiei in the other) and the other four shared a room (Aragorn/Faythe, Jake/Legolas). At least they were adjoining.**

**"Well, at least they're adjoining," Sara said, trying to be cheerful.**

**"Yeah, and the beds are made," Faythe said. Aragorn peeled back the coverlet. The sheets were disgustingly dirty and the mattress was spotted.**

**"Do you want to sleep on that?"**

"Not really."

Legolas looked at the others. "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

"No!" Everyone looked at Sara. "I refuse to leave. We found somewhere to stay and we're staying." She flopped down in a chair. A cockroach crawled in front of her and she squashed it.

**Kurama's lip curled involuntarily. "Ew."**

**Faythe burst in from the bathroom door. "Do y'all have cockroaches, too?"**

**Sara raised an eyebrow and glared at Faythe. "'Y'all'?"**

**Faythe blushed. "Oops. Sorry. Do you guys have cockroaches, too?"**

**Sara nodded. "That's better. And yes-" A cockroach scurried past her feet. "-we do have cockroaches."**

**Aragorn sighed and flopped down on the bed. "This sucks royally."**

**The others murmured agreement. "Who wants to grab a smoothie before we have to sleep in this hellhole?" They murmured agreement again and left to catch the bus. **

**SMOOTHEE KING**

"What's a smoothie?" Kurama asked as he looked around the Smoothee King.

Faythe looked at him. "You've never had a smoothie before? You poor depraved kid." She turned to Hiei. "Have you?"

He looked at the floor. "No…"

Sara glared at Faythe. "Neither have I. Is that a problem?"

**"First funnel cakes, now smoothies!" Faythe exclaimed. "Did you guys have a childhood?" She ordered eight strawberry banana smoothies.**

**"What's the eighth one for?" Aragorn asked.**

**"I'm gonna want two," Faythe said seriously. They sat down at a weather-beaten picnic table on the patio outside. **

**Jake took a sip of smoothie. He had ordered for the fruit to be left in large chunks in his glass.**

**Legolas hit him on the back, by way of friendly greeting. "That's pretty good, huh?"**

**Jake's face was blue and he was making gagging noises.**

**Faythe panicked. "Oh my God! Somebody call 911!"**

**Aragorn dialed on his cell phone and got through to an operator. "I have a man here who seems to be suffocating. No, we're not related. Can we please have an ambulance over here?" He gave her the address to the Smoothee King and hung up. "They're on their way."**

**Legolas was crying and as to hyperventilate. Faythe hugged him. "You'll be all right. He's gonna be fine. Don't worry," she said soothingly.**

**The ambulance screeched to a halt at the curb. The paramedic looked at Jake, then turned to Sara. "This the guy?" Sara nodded. "Take him away, boys!" the paramedic shouted to co-workers. He turned to the group. "I'll need his personal information."**

**They gave him his name andother things he asked for. The paramedic, who called himself Tom, told them not to worry. "He'll be fine. You folks can go on home. We'll call you when he can have visitors."**

**Legolas sniffed. "Can we go home now? To the Breez Inn, I mean. Please?"**

**Kurama sighed. "We might as well. There's nothing else we can do here."**

**THE BREEZ INN**

"Got any twos?"

"Go fish."

Sara sighed and drew a card from the pile. "Hey! A two!"

Kurama sighed. "Did you rig the deck?"

"Of course not. That would be dishonest."

He shrugged. "Fours?"

"Go fish."

Kurama drew from the pile. "Your turn."

"Threes." Kurama handed her his cards. Sara put the last of her cards on the floor. "I win." Hiei walked over to them and handed them drinks. "Hiei, we're underage."

"So? What are they going to do about it?"

Sara and Kurama thought about it. "Nothing."

Hiei sat down next to Sara. "Alright then."

**"Besides," Kurama added, "I don't think you're underage in Australia."**

**Sara raised an eyebrow. "Really? What's the legal limit in Australia?"**

**"Seventeen."**

**"Really? I'm two years over! Cool," Sara said, drinking her beer.**

**Faythe came through the adjoining room. "Uh, guys? You might want to look at this."**

**Sara was annoyed. "We're in the middle of a game! What do you want?"**

**"It's Legolas. He's…um…singing."**

**"Yeah? So?" Hiei said, agitated. "Go fish, Sara."**

**"When an Elf sings in a depressed mood…well, um, just make him stop."**

**Kurama looked closely at Faythe's face. "Have you been crying?"**

**"Mm-hm. Look at him."**

**IN FAYTHE'S ROOM**

**Legolas was lying on the bed, singing a song in Quenya. His voice was so mournful that everybody, even Hiei, cried when they heard it. Aragorn had been subject to it for so long that he was sobbing loudly.**

**"How do we make him stop?" Hiei said, sniffling.**

**Faythe shrugged. "I don't know. Help me!"**

Sara walked over and made him look at her. "Legolas, stop." She hit him across the face.

"Sara!" Faythe glared at her and hugged Legolas. "She didn't mean it."

"Yes I did."

Kurama wiped his eyes. Hiei looked at Kurama and Sara. "Come on. We have a game to finish."

"Right." They left.

Faythe looked at Aragorn. "Now what?"

**Aragorn bawled loudly. "I don't know!"**

**Legolas continued to sing.**

**A light bulb flickered over Faythe's head. "Why don't we tell him to sing in English? Would we still cry?"**

**Aragorn sobbed and didn't respond.**

**Faythe rolled her eyes. "Thanks for your help, dearest." She turned to Legolas. "Legolas? Would you please sing in English? Please? Pretty please?"**

**He stopped singing and switched to an Elvis song, "Are You Lonesome Tonight?"**

**Faythe smiled. "That's better." She looked at Aragorn. "Why are you still crying?"**

**Aragorn sniffled. "I love this song!"**

MEANWHILE

Sara had turned the radio on in hopes to drown out Legolas. It seemed to work. Kurama finished his second beer and was reaching for a third. "Are you sure this is safe?"

"No. Got any sevens?"

He looked at Hiei. "You just asked for sevens."

Hiei hiccupped and smiled. "Oh yeah. Aces?"

Kurama handed him some cards. "Sara, do you have any…"

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Sara got up to get it, but Hiei stopped her. "No. You remember last time." He opened the door. "Yes?"

"Pizza, sir. Already paid for." The man shoved the pizza at Hiei and slammed the door.

"Before we eat this, we should remember that someone just gave us a free pizza." They thought about that for a moment.

"Oh, well." **They dug into the cheese pizza.**

**"It's not bad," Sara said, chewing. "Kurama, do you have any sevens?"**

**"Fish."**

**"Damn!" Sara was losing by a long shot. She looked at her hand-twelve cards. She looked at Hiei's hand-three cards. Kurama had a reasonable five. "Hiei, you rigged the deck!"**

**"I did not! I already told you that!"**

**"Yes, you did! Deck rigger!" Sara shouted.**

**"Was that an attempt to insult me?" Hiei said, somewhat calmly. His words had a very faint slur to them.**

**"Yes, it was!" Sara yelled. The argument continued for a while.**

**"I'm going to need another beer to stand this one," Kurama said to himself as he reached for a fourth beer. "This could take a while."**

**IN FAYTHE'S ROOM**

**Legolas was now singing "Fever," a cool jazz chart. He was on the end of the song, where Pocahontas' daddy tried to kill John Smith.**

"_**When her daddy tried to kill him**_

_**She said, 'daddy, no, don't you dare'**_

**_He gives me fever"_ **

**Aragorn snorted. "All the more reason to kill him."**

Faythe hit him. "I like that song."

Aragorn sighed. "I wasn't making fun of the song. I was making a point!"

"Well, stop it."

By this time, Legolas had calmed down a bit. "I think I'm going to take a nap."

Faythe and Aragorn looked at each other. "Let's go for a walk."

"Alright." **Aragorn thought for a moment. "Where?"**

**Faythe thought about it. "On the beach."**

**"Sure."**


	11. 11 Beach Bums & Beer Runs

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything LOTR or YYH. I own Sara and Faythe, and Jake, and Jake's doctor. I don't own Sydney Beach. I'm not sure about the hospital, though, so I won't lay claim to it or deny it until I'm sure. _

_Author's Note: I guess Jake wasn't dead, after all._

**Chapter Eleven**

**Beach Bums & Beer Runs**

**SYDNEY BEACH**

**The sun was going down on the water. Faythe and Aragorn stood with their feet in the water, looking at the big orange ball.**

**"It's so pretty," Faythe said, in awe.**

**"I guess," Aragorn said, bored.**

**"What do you mean you guess? It's really romantic!"**

**"What does it matter?"**

"What's the matter with you?"

Aragorn smiled at her. "Nothing. Everything is all right."

"Alright. If you're sure."

"I am." They stared at the sky in silence.

SARA'S ROOM

Kurama was on his fifth drink and was feeling a bit tipsy. Sara and Hiei had calmed down and they had moved on to poker. "Why do we always play poker?"

Sara shrugged. "It gives us something to do, I guess."

"Does it matter?"

"Not really. No."

**"Do you want to play something else, Kurama?" Sara asked politely.**

**"No."**

**"Okay then." She shuffled and dealt.**

**Hiei burped. "Hand me a beer."**

**"We're all out," Kurama said.**

**"What? How?"**

**"Well, I had five, you had four, and Sara had three. We only bought a twelve pack."**

**Sara did the math in her semi-drunken mind. "We drank nine beers! Where are the other three?"**

**"Sara, did you add the beers you drank?" Hiei asked.**

**"Whoops."**

Hiei sighed, Kurama shook his head, and Sra shrugged. "Well, let's go get some more." The others nodded and they left.

SUPERMART

"Who names a store SuperMart? I could've come up with something better!" No one argued with her. Sara grabbed a basket and headed to the isle she was looking for. "What kind do we want?"

"Just grab something." Sara grabbed a couple of packs and they headed for the checkout. On the way, Hiei accidentally tripped into a display. A worker came over, yelling. He looked at Sara, whose eyes flashed and she smiled at them.

"I'll take care of it."

BACK THE MOTEL

Sara and Kurama were singing while Hiei watched. Aragorn came in, listened for a bit, and smiled. "You should start a band."

As he was leaving, Sara looked at the others. "Good idea." She grabbed another drink.

**Faythe came over. "Good news, guys," she said, smiling, "Legolas had stopped singing and Jake can leave the hospital. Turns out he had a strawberry lodged in his esophagus. We can pick him up now."**

**Sara smiled widely. "All right! We're going to the hospital!"**

**Legolas came over from Faythe's room. His eyes were very bloodshot. He was humming "There's A Tear In My Beer." He hiccupped. "Are we going to get Jake now?"**

**Aragorn thought for a moment. "Should we go like this?"**

**Kurama grinned. "It won't be a problem. Eat this." He shoved some leaves at everyone. **

**Faythe looked at the little blue leaves skeptically. "I don't eat blue plants."**

**Legolas squinted at his leaves. "Do these have hallucinogenic side effects?"**

**"No, that a different plant altogether," Sara replied. She, Hiei, and Kurama had already eaten their leaves and looked a lot better and a lot less drunk.**

**Aragorn ate his. "Hm…minty."**

**Legolas took his next. "Not bad. A pleasant aftertaste."**

**Only Faythe was left. She refused to eat them. "I'm not that bad," she said, stumbling on nothing as she moved towards the garbage can to throw the leaves away.**

**Sara glared at her. "Eat them. NOW."**

**Faythe winced and took a nibble of a corner of a leaf. "Not bad," she said. She quickly devoured the rest of the leaves.**

**Kurama patted her shoulder. "See? You didn't die."**

**"I guess not. Let's go!"**

**SYDNEY METRO MERCY HOSPITAL**

Jake smiled at everyone. "Did you come to see me?"

Legolas sat down on the bed. "No."

Faythe flopped down in a chair. "We're here to take you home. Well, back to the hotel, anyways."

Jake looked first to Faythe, then to the doctor, then to Legolas. "Really?"

The doctor nodded. "You can go home any time you want."

The doctor left and Faythe clapped her hands together. "Let's go get smoothies to celebrate!"

"NO!" everyone shouted.

Faythe looked confused, so Hiei summed it up. "Those things are a danger to our health! Never again!"

Faythe pouted and Aragorn put his arm around her. "I'll make you a smoothie later."


	12. 12 The Sax Heard 'Round the World

_Disclaimer: You know what I don't own. You don't know, however, that I own Raoul, the piano guy, and the cop. I also own the bloke who runs this seedy joint. _

_Author's Note: You can't have a good fic without music._

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Sax Heard 'Round the World**

LATER THAT NIGHT

Aragorn had somehow found a blender and was mixing fruit together. Faythe had somehow managed to talk Legolas, Jake, and Kurama into having one, but Sara and Hiei wouldn't have any part of it. Sara had just snorted and Hiei had stuck with his original response.

"Oh, well. More for us," Jake said. Legolas nodded in agreement.

**Faythe pulled out a bottle of vodka. "Put some of this in it," she told Aragorn.**

**"Wouldn't tequila go better?"**

**A saxophonist came in through the window, playing "Tequila."**

**"Who the hell is that?" Sara asked angrily.**

**Faythe grinned. "I thought we could use some live entertainment."**

**Legolas winced. "Does he know any other songs?"**

**"Yeah!" Faythe said. "Raoul, 'One Note Samba', please."**

**The saxophonist, who, apparently, was named Raoul, switched songs. "One Note Samba" was slower and more…romantic…than "Tequila." Legolas didn't complain.**

Sara and Hiei shared a look. "We have stuff to do. Sorry, Faythe. We're out of here." Sara grabbed Hiei's arm and they left.

Legolas looked at Faythe. "What's with them?"

Faythe shrugged. Jake raided an eyebrow. "Stuff? What kind of stuff?"

Faythe shrugged again. Jake was about to say something, but Kurama jumped in. "I'm sure it's important."

Everyone turned to him. "You know something! What are they doing?"

Kurama smiled at Faythe. "I can't tell you."

Aragorn passed out the smoothies. "Who cares?"

"I care!"

"Faythe, just drink the smoothie."

**"I can't. Now I'm curious." Faythe twirled the glass in her hands. Raoul played "The Girl From Ipanema."**

**Aragorn looked at Faythe. "Hun, how naïve are you? They're…busy. They'll be back later."**

**Faythe's eyes got wide. "Oooh. I get it!" She grimaced. "Ew!"**

**Legolas grinned. "Is a piano player waiting to burst through the window, too?"**

**Faythe looked at him. "I can get one. They'll have to wheel the piano in, though. Why?"**

**"Just wondering."**

**Kurama gave Legolas a stern look. "You're not to be doing any more singing."**

Legolas sighed. "Damn."

WITH SARA & HIEI

"What do you suppose they think we're doing?"

Sara thought for a moment. "Each other."

"I was being serious!"

"So was I." In spite of popular belief, Sara was teaching Hiei to swim. He was standing waist deep in the pool and wouldn't go any farther.

Sara walked over to him and he sniffed her. "You smell wonderful."

"New shampoo."

"No. It's something else…"

They looked at each other. "Mating season."

Hiei got an odd look in his eyes and Sara took the opportunity to shove him into deeper water. "You're learning how to swim."

**"I can't focus on swimming," Hiei replied.**

**"You'd better try! You only get to have me pull you out of the water once," Sara retorted.**

**"Why once?" Hiei asked.**

**"Because we'll never get back in the pool otherwise." They laughed. "Okay, Hiei. First, we're going to learn to tread water…"**

**10 MINUTES LATER**

**"That's it, Hiei! You've got it! You can doggy paddle now! Congratulations!" Sara cheered and clapped for him.**

**"Yeah, uh-huh. Can we please go back to our room now?"**

"That doesn't count as swimming!"

"I'm moving forward, aren't I? I'm not drowning."

"But you aren't swimming."

"It's good enough."

Sara thought for a moment. "If you can beat me in a race, we'll call it a night." They raced and Sara won. Of course. "Alright. Next is the front stroke."

WITH FAYTHE

"Put in some oranges this time." Aragorn complied. He turned the blender on and the mixture turned yellowish. He poured it into glasses and passed them out.

"These are pretty good."

"And, there isn't any fruit to choke on." "Brian Wilson" played in the background.

BACK IN THE POOL

**Not too much later, Hiei was in pain. His limbs were burning and he'd taken in far too much water. He asked Sara if they could stop, but she insisted they continue.**

**"You need to know, Hiei," Sara said.**

**"Why do I need to know?" Hiei asked, nearly exhausted.**

"Because I'm not always going to be around to save your ass."

"You're immortal! We're going to be together forever!"

"Oh, yeah." Hiei glared at her, tiredly. "Fine. We're done for tonight."

Hiei smiled, not looking so tired anymore. He swam over to her. Sara was about to point out that he was swimming, but he kissed her before she could. **They swam to the ladder and got out of the pool.**

**"I thought you were tired," Sara said accusingly.**

**Hiei grinned. "It's mating season, remember?"**

**Sara grinned back. "How could I forget?"**

**W/ FAYTHE/ARAGORN/LEGOLAS/JAKE/RAOUL/THE PIANO PLAYER GUY WHO JUST SHOWED UP**

**Legolas was singing some sappy love song, dancing on the grand piano that had been wheeled into the room. Faythe and Aragorn were dancing. It turns out that Jake could play the acoustic stand-up bass. They had a regular jazz band going.**

**Aragorn smiled at Faythe. "I'm glad you did this. It really cheers up these drab motel rooms."**

**Faythe smiled back. "I'm glad I did it, too. This has been a hectic trip."**

**"Too right. We need to-" he kissed her "-unwind."**

**Legolas finished his song. Faythe, Aragorn, Jake and Legolas clapped and cheered. Legolas climbed off the piano and bowed. "Thank you, Sydney! Good night!"**

**Jake hugged him. "You were great! When did you learn to sing like that?"**

**Legolas hugged back. "All elves can sing. There's a lot you don't know about me, isn't there?"**

**Jake nodded. "Apparently so. You'll have to tell me, you know. I know enough for right now, but it seems like every day has a new surprise."**

**Legolas was silent for a moment. He seemed to be thinking about something. Finally, he said, "It should. It should."**

**Faythe and Aragorn were watching Jake and Legolas. "You know," Faythe said matter-of-factly, "they make a really cute couple."**

**"They do, don't they?" Aragorn replied. "But then-" he kissed her "-so do we."**

**"Jeez, I don't know about that one, A. A short, pudgy, clumsy water demon from nowhere and a tall, noble, stern, proud King of Men. Doesn't seem to fit, does it?"**

**Aragorn was taken aback. "What do you mean by that? You don't want us to be together anymore?"**

**"No! I'd never say that!" Faythe said. "It's the hormones talking. Lately I feel like I don't deserve you."**

**Aragorn chuckled softly and held her closer to him. "Is that what's wrong? Faythe, you'll never have to worry about that. Everything that you have, you earned, in some way or another. That includes me, too."**

**She rested her head on his shoulder and they danced. The band played "Unforgettable," the old Nat King Cole song. It was a very peaceful moment.**

**A knock on the door-the door to the hallway, not to Sara and Hiei's room-interrupted the dance. The band abruptly stopped and Faythe pulled away from Aragorn. "I'll get it." She went to the door and looked out the peephole. Through a fish-eye lens, she saw a police officer. She opened the door. "How can I help you, officer?"**

**"Oi, there, Sheila," he said in a thick Australian accent, "we've been 'aving complaints 'bout a party in this hotel. Apparently, the bloke who runs this seedy joint found a couple fornicatin' on the pool deck." He peered intently at Faythe, then past her to the hotel room. "Oi, there, if this is a party, you've lost your guests, Sheila." He sniffed the air. "'ave you been drinkin'?"**

"Of course not." Faythe pointed to the pianist. "He was, though."

The officer sniffed again. "That's a lot of alcohol for one person."

"He has a drinking problem?"

The officer looked around and sighed. "Just try to keep it down. Alright, Sheila?"

"Yes, sir." The officer nodded and left. Faythe shut the door and turned to the others.

"Other guests? What other guests?"

**"They must have thought we were throwing a party," Aragorn said. He thought for a moment. "I guess live music is louder than a stereo."**

**Jake scoffed. "You think?" He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. "Anybody else want one?"**

**"Yo," said the piano guy. "Over here." Jake threw him one and he caught it without missing a beat. "Thanks."**

**"No problem. Anybody else? Faythe, Aragorn? No? Oh, well. More for me." He chugged the beer. "This is awesome! We need to come to Australia more often. They have great beer."**

**The piano guy raised his beer a little in a toast. "I'll drink to that!"**


	13. 13 Making Bail

_Disclaimer: I own the jailer, and everything else is the same._

_Author's Note: I decided that Faythe's powers weren't in here enough, so I added some of the special things she does. Like the thing with the clarinet._

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Making Bail**

**W/ SARA/HIEI/THE BLOKE WHO RUNS THIS SEEDY JOINT**

**"Look, I don't care if you screw in the rooms!" The hotel manager shouted at Sara and Hiei. "We wash the sheets when you leave anyways!"**

**Hiei snorted. "You do?"**

**"Well…usually." The hotel manager sat and thought about the last time he'd washed the sheets. It seemed they were still white then. "Maybe it's time to wash them again," he muttered to himself. To Sara and Hiei he said, "We have a lot of guests who want to swim without the presence of a couple of horny teenagers! I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Thank you for staying at the Breez Inn. Good-bye!"**

**Hiei muttered to Sara, "This might be a good time to intervene."**

**Sara nodded. "Right. Uh, sir?"**

**"What is it, Sheila? I already told you to leave."**

**Sara's eyes flashed purple. "I know."**

The guy stared at her for a few seconds. "Nice magic trick. Now, I want you two to leave."

Sara continued to try controlling him. "Sara, why isn't it working?"

"I don't know. Maybe he doesn't have a brain." She read the guys thoughts. "Nope. Nothing."

By now, the manager was getting angry. "If you don't leave now, I will have the police escort you somewhere…unpleasant."

Hiei snorted. "Than this place? You're joking."

The manager reached for his cell phone. He opened it up, and dialed.

"Hiei, I'm running out of ideas…"

"Run." They took off, the manager behind them, still trying to talk on the phone.

WITH FAYTHE AND THE "PARTY"

**The "band" had some type of a rock/jazz thing playing and everyone was sitting around, drinking and reminiscing.**

**Faythe laughed at one of Legolas' stories. "Seriously, Legolas, whatever happened to the real Pooh guy?"**

**Legolas grinned. "That's for me to know and you to wonder about until the day that you die."**

**"Ha! I'm not going to die! I win!" Faythe did the victory dance she'd promised never to do again.**

**"Faythe, sweetie, what did I tell you about the victory dance?" Aragorn said exasperatedly.**

**"Oh, yeah," Faythe said, sitting back down.**

**Jake stared at her for a while, and then shook his head. "So, anyways…why were you in Disneyworld in the first place?"**

**Aragorn chugged some more beer. "Faythe and Sara were on a marching band trip," he explained. "It was their senior year. Hiei and I tagged along; we pretty much lost the marching band, or got lost from it, who cares? Sara got kidnapped various times by two very insane Disney employees, we rode Space Mountain and the Tunnel of Love, visited Epcot and the Magic Kingdom as well as the Animal Kingdom and ate funnel cake." He finished and took a deep breath. "Anything else you want to know?"**

**Kurama, who'd been playing clarinet in the band, stopped and joined the conversation. "So that's what happened in Disneyworld," he said, somewhat in awe. "What happened to the very insane Disney employees?"**

"Well, you met one. We went over to his house. Sara killed the other one."

"Inari."

"It was an accident."

Faythe looked at Kurama. "Who's Inari?"

"She's a goddess. You're better off not knowing. How did Sara kill him?"

Aragorn smiled. "She ran him over with a car. She wouldn't say anything else."

Jake crossed himself. "Who ever gave her keys to a car should be shot."

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Aragorn answered it and stared in shock as the hotel manager stumbled past them. "They're in here. I know it."

The others looked at him. "Who?"

The manager waved his arms. "Those kids. First, they make swimming unpleasant for the other guests! And now, they're running from the police and me. 'Why?' you ask? They wouldn't leave!"

**Faythe looked at the manager. "Who wouldn't leave, sir?"**

**"Those crazy kids! Teenagers! Tall blonde one who does the funny eye trick and a short dark-haired one with a bandanna. Insane, the both of 'em!"**

**Kurama got a look on his face. "Sara and Hiei…Where are they now?" he asked the manager.**

**"Who cares! And will you get those rag tag, dime-a-dozen, mediocre musicians to STOP PLAYING?"**

Everyone stopped. Jake looked at the manager. "You are surrounded by band fags. That was a very bad thing to say!"

"I say we shove the clarinet up his-"

"NO!"

Faythe smiled. "I have an idea."

15 MINUTES LATER

"No, please! Stop!" Aragorn played another note on the saxophone. The manager, who was tied to a chair, screamed in agony.

**"Give him another 'Hokey Pokey!'" Faythe ordered. "Piano-B flat! Bass-G sharp! Clarinet-E flat! Aragorn-just move your fingers over the keys randomly! One, two, one two, three, four!" The band played "The Hokey Pokey" in the wrong keys. Aragorn squeaked and squawked. They made it to the end of the song, and Faythe shouted- "Pick-a-note!" They all played a single note, but everyone's was different and it produced a tone cluster.**

**The manager screamed in agony. "I'll tell you! Just make them stop playing! Ahh!"**

**Faythe smiled. "See how much easier this is when you work with us? Where are Sara and Hiei?"**

**"At…at…the police station!" the manager exclaimed. "Make them stop playing! Ahh!"**

**Faythe grinned. "I don't think so. Legolas, come with me. Everybody else-stay in your keys and play! Play 'til you die!" The piano player and Jake cheered. Everyone else played wind instruments. "We'll deal with you properly later," she told the manager.**

**THE POLICE STATION**

"Sara, put the harmonica down."

Sara sighed and put the harmonica on the bed. "It fit." She and Hiei were in a jail cell, waiting to get bailed out. "Why are we even here? We didn't do anything to that bastard!"

Hiei was leaning on the wall, staring at the floor. He looked up and shrugged. Sara sighed again. "Only us."

**"Only us what?" Hiei asked.**

**"Only us could get into this type of predicament," Sara said. "Why me? Why is it always me?"**

**"Aw, quit feeling sorry for yourself, Sara," Legolas said. He was grinning widely and holding the keys to the cell.**

**Hiei looked at him. "Where did you come from?"**

**"The door."**

**Sara groaned. "No, idiot! Where were you before you magically got the idea to rescue us from the jail cell?"**

**"Oh. He should have said that in the first place," Legolas said, winking. "I was in the hotel room, with all the band fags. The manager is currently tied to a chair and being subjected to 'It's A Small World After All' played in various keys as torture. I said we should have stuffed the clarinet up-"**

**"Where's Faythe? Did you come alone?" Sara asked.**

**Legolas smiled. "She's playing with the jailer."**

**They heard a toilet flushing and water running and sloshing in the distance. They assumed Faythe was in the bathroom, giving the jailer a swirlee. No one asked questions.**

"So, are you going to let us out?"

Legolas jingled the keys. "No. I think I'll leave you in there."

"Legolas…" Hiei was growling and both he and Sara looked pissed. Legolas, being the oh-so-intelligent Elf that he is, unlocked the door and let them out.

Sara walked out and stretched. "Why were you two in there anyway?"

Hiei and Sara looked at each other. "Don't ask."

**Legolas thought for a moment and was pretty sure he'd reached the right conclusion. "The M word," he muttered to himself. To Sara and Hiei, he said, "Let's go get Faythe and get out of here."**

**They found Faythe in the bathroom. She was causing mini-water spouts to erupt in the sinks and made every toilet overflow. The jailer was lying on the floor, sopping wet and unconscious. Faythe smiled when she saw Legolas and the others. "Hey! What took you so long?"**

Hiei looked around. "What the hell were you doing in here?" Faythe was about to answer when a pipe exploded, sending water everywhere. Faythe and the others were soaked. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

The jailer groaned and everyone looked at him. "Maybe we should leave…"

HOTEL

"We need to get out of here."

"Where are we going, Aragorn?" Faythe was sitting on the piano, looking through a magazine.

Aragorn was next to her. "I don't know."

Kurama, who was asleep, his head on Sara's lap, snored once and his foot twitched. Sara smiled and rubbed his head. "Hey! I know."


	14. 14 Buen Guerno!

_Disclaimer: Same as all the others, except I own the Italian guy. And his restaurant._

_Author's Note: Time for a change of scenery. Are you ready for…Legolas driving in Italy? I didn't think so. Honestly, neither were we._

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Buen Guerno! **

AIRPLANE

Somehow, they got Kurama, who was still asleep, onto the plane without anyone noticing. Faythe looked at Sara. "We don't have passports! How'd we get out?"

Sara smiled and handed her a pamphlet. "Your passport."

"That's not a passport."

Sara's eyes flashed purple. "Trust me. It's a passport."

Hiei leaned over and whisper in Faythe ear, "Go along with it. IF you don't think it's a passport, her powers won't work."

**"Huh?" Faythe said, confused.**

**Hiei sighed. "You have to believe this little pamphlet is a passport."**

**"Oh."**

**"Can you do that?"**

**"Yeah."**

**"Good." They reached the boarding attendant.**

**"G'day! May I see your passports? And your tickets, of course," the woman said cheerfully.**

Sara smiled and waved her hands for effect. "Watch me work my magic."

She walked up to the lady and handed her the tickets and "passports." The lady flipped through them, smiled, and stamped them. She handed them the book. "Thank you. Enjoy your stay."

The others nodded and dragged Kurama outside. "Alright. We have two rental cars."

"Why two?"

Sara glared at Faythe. "We won't fit in one. Now, the pairings will be as usual." She pointed to a red circle on a map and handed it to Aragorn. "We'll meet there."

**Faythe looked at Aragorn. "Are you ready to go? Jake and Legolas went to get the car already."**

**"Yeah. I'll get the luggage," he said, grabbing their bags and packages.**

**Jake and Legolas squealed to a stop at the curb of the hangar. Jake shouted, "We got a convertible!"**

**Faythe rolled her eyes. "Figures."**

**"It suits the country, though," Aragorn said thoughtfully. "It's a Ferrari."**

**Faythe scoffed. "We need to get to Florence by 3 PM. We need to go. NOW."**

**They piled into the car and took off.**

**SARA/HIEI/KURAMA**

Kurama was staring into darkness. Black as far as he could see. "Not much of a dream."

Then, two glowing purple eyes appeared. "Time to wake up."

Kurama bolted upright and looked around. "Where are we?"

Sara turned and handed him a cup of coffee. "Italy."

Kurama drank some and smiled. "Thank you. What are we doing in Italy?"

"Never mind that." Hiei turned on the radio and sound filled the car. Kurama cried out and covered his ears, dropping the coffee. Coffee sloshed everywhere.

"Hiei! Turn it off! Please!" Hiei shut the radio off and stared at Kurama. "He has a hangover. Leave him alone."

**Hiei shrugged. "Not my fault if he doesn't hold his liquor well. I like this song." He turned the radio up-but only a little. Kurama wasn't bothered much by it. Sara still glared at Hiei.**

**Kurama looked at Sara. "Where are we going?"**

**"Florence," Sara replied.**

**Kurama sat back in the seat and relaxed. "The City of Love."**

**Hiei scoffed. "Seems like there's a lot of cities who claim to be the City of Love. Paris, Florence, Los Angeles, Philadelphia."**

**Sara shook her head. "Los Angeles is the City of Angels and Philadelphia is the City of _Brotherly_ Love."**

**"Whatever." Hiei turned the radio up a little more, and Kurama clamped his hands to his head, spilling his coffee entirely.**

**"Damn it, Hiei!" Sara shouted. "Turn it off!"**

**Hiei obliged and muttered to himself, "This is going to be a long trip."**

**FAYTHE/ARAGORN/LEGOLAS/JAKE**

Faythe and the others, however, were having no problems wit the radio and had it on full blast. Of course, this got them a lot of glares, but that didn't bother them in the least. They were all singing aloud with the music loudly, when Aragorn suddenly shouted, "Turn here!"

Tires squealing, Faythe turned the car onto the highway. They zoomed past an old man, who looked up and shook his head. "Crazy teenagers."

**Legolas looked up from the pamphlet he had been reading on Florence. There was a map in it, which he was zealously studying. "Why are we going to Rome? Florence is the other way."**

**Faythe looked at Legolas, horrified. "We're going the wrong way?" She panicked. "We'll never make it in time now!"**

**Aragorn sighed. "Pull over. I'll drive."**

Faythe pulled over and she and Aragorn switched seats. Legolas leaned back in his chair. "I feel better now that Aragorn's driving."

Faythe turned and glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Legolas smiled. "Nothing."

"It meant something."

"No it didn't."

"Yes it-"

"Enough!" Both of them looked at Aragorn.

"He started it…"

"I don't care who started it. I'm finishing it!" **He turned up the radio to drown them out and drove, spitting gravel with the tires.**

**Jake's stomach growled. "Ugh, can we stop for some gelato or something? I'm starved."**

**Legolas nodded in agreement. "I'm hungry, too."**

**Faythe, who was always hungry, said, "Let's stop in the next town, okay?"**

**Aragorn nodded in agreement, eyes fixed on the road, looking for an exit. "Does anybody speak Italian?"**

Faythe nodded. "I can."

"Good."

They got off the highway and pulled into the parking lot at Olive Garden. Legolas looked around skeptically as they got out of the car. "Do we have time for this?"

"Yes." Faythe was already in the restaurant. "Hurry up."

**"Buen Guerno!" greeted a short Italian man with tanned skin and black hair. "How many?" he asked in heavily accented English.**

**Faythe replied, "Seven," and they were led to a table. He gave them menus.**

**"You need anything, you ask for Francesco," he told them in his choppy English. He left.**

**Jake opened a menu. "Hey, it's in Italian!"**

**Faythe hit him. "Idiot. Of course it's in Italian, we're in Italy!"**

"I can't read Italian." The others agreed. Faythe sighed and began translating.

20 MINUTES LATER

The server put their food on the table, bowed, and walked off. They ate quickly, paid, and left.

IN THE CAR

"That was good." The others nodded in agreement. Aragorn started the engine and looked at the clock. "Three thirty? How the hell did that happen?"

**Faythe panicked. "We were supposed to be in Florence at three! We're late!"**

**Legolas sighed. "Calm down, Faythe. We'll be there in fifteen minutes."**

**"How? Florence is an hour away!"**

**Legolas grinned. "Let me drive."**

"Fine." They pulled over and, once again, they switched drivers.

Faythe was still staring at the clock. "They'll kill us! We're going to die horrible, painful deaths!"

"Faythe, they aren't going to kill us."

"Yes they are!" She began hyperventilating.

**Aragorn put his arm around her. "Sweetheart, nothing bad is going to happen! Sara and Hiei and Kurama will still be there and they'll be waiting for us. Sara will not be angry with you. Calm down!"**

**Legolas pulled some sunglasses out of his picket and put them on. "We'll burn rubber. We won't miss them. Not the way I drive." They were going 95 mph and getting faster. Legolas was driving without caution, tailgating and cutting off other drivers to get there close to on time.**

They arrived at their destination ten minutes later. Aragorn, Jake, and Faythe got out shakily. Legolas smirked and got out, putting his glasses back in his pocket. "You all make it seem like it was a horrible ride. The cops didn't even pull us over…"

"We were going too fast to be seen!"

Legolas sat down on the large fountain they had parked next to. "I still think it wasn't that bad."

**Faythe, whose hair was sticking nearly straight out form her head, said, "That was the best ride of my life! That was better than Space Mountain! That was-" She leaned over and hurled into the fountain.**

**Sara pulled up in the Mazda she and the others had been driving. She looked at Faythe. Her lip curled. "Ew…where were you guys? You're an hour late!"**

**Legolas shrugged. "We stopped for dinner. And we're only 45 minutes late, not an hour."**

"Of course you stopped for dinner." Sara looked at Legolas, who was swinging the keys around. "You drove? And you're all still alive?"

"Of course! I'm a great driver!"

At the same time, Sara and Hiei began laughing. Kurama sighed and walked over to Faythe. "There's still a lot of Europe we haven't seen…"

Faythe waved towards the others. "Tell them."

**Aragorn laid a hand on Faythe's shoulder. "Are you okay, honey?"**

**Faythe nodded weakly. "I'm fine."**

**Jake rubbed his stomach. "That drive made me hungry again. Let's get some gelato."**

**Faythe, who was finally starting to get over her queasiness, barfed into the fountain at the mere mention of food.**

**A cop who'd been driving by on moped shouted something at her in Italian.**

**Sara looked at Faythe. "What did he say?"**

**Faythe replied, "He said I'm under arrest for puking in the fountain."**

**Sara's eyes flashed purple and she sighed. "The things I go through to cover your ass."**

IN SOME RANDOM RESTAURANT

"I'm tired of cops. I'm tired of all of this!" Sara shouted, flopping down into a chair. She and Hiei were at the bar counter, waiting for a table. Faythe and the others were in the souvenir shop next door.

"I know you are. I am, too."

Sara was about to respond when Faythe rushed in. "Look at this hat I found! Isn't it cool?"

"Sure." Just then, Sara's cell phone rang. "Hello? No way! Are you sure?" She said something in a language none of them knew and shut the phone. "Great news! We're on our way to Germany!"

"But Sara, none of us can speak German."

Sara put her hands on her hips and smiled at Aragorn. "One of the perks of having a German friend."

**Faythe pouted. "But we just got here!"**

**Sara shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, well. Let's go!"**

**Legolas, who'd been thinking about the German friend, asked, "Can he speak English?"**

**"Yes…and no."**

**Jake raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'yes and no'?"**

**Sara smiled. "You'll find out." She distributed _real_ passports and tickets for the plane.**


	15. 15 Germany is for Large Families

_Disclaimer: To add to the long list of things owned/not owned, I do own Hans, Anja, Jeramy, and any of the four other children Hans and Anja have had. Everything else is the same._

_Author's Note: I speak no German. Sara is the one who translated everything Hans said into German, because she's proud of her heritage. I speak English and limited Italian and even very little Elvish, but nothing as fluently as her German. I feel bad about that, really. sighs I'm sure I'll get over it._

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Germany is for Large Families**

**ON THE PLANE**

"Sara, you can't speak German."

To prove Kurama wrong, Sara began singing in German.

_Mary hotle ein kleines Lamm_

_Kleines Lamm_

_Kleines Lamm_

_Marry hotle ein kleines Lamm_

_Sein vlies war weib als Sohnee_

Four or five other peole joined in singing. The rest of passengers cheered.

"Wow."

"Impressive."

Sara smiled. "Danke." She looked at Kurama. "Any more questions?"

"No."

**Faythe groaned. "How do you say 'peanuts' in German?"**

**Sara looked at her. "Why?"**

**"I'm starved!"**

**Sara rolled her eyes. She called for the flight attendant and asked for a bag of peanuts. The flight attendant quickly returned with a bag of pretzels, saying that they were out of peanuts.**

**Faythe didn't care. She tore into the bag, mumbling "Danke" with a mouth full of food. **

The others watched her with morbid fascination. "Jesus Christ."

Faythe swallowed. "Delicious!"

Sara grimaced and turned to Hiei. "I'll be right back." She ran to the back of the plane.

Faythe looked at Hiei. "What's the matter with her?"

"She isn't feeling well."

Faythe thought for a moment. "Is she-"

Hiei glared at her. "She isn't feeling well."

**Faythe's eyes got wide. "Ohhhh…" She tapped the side of her nose. "I get it."**

**Hiei started to say something, thought better of it, and turned forward in his seat to watch the in-flight movie.**

**Faythe tried to get him to talk again, but to no avail. He was zoned out. "Now who's going to talk to me?" she muttered. Her face brightened. "Hey! I know! Aragorn! Aragorn, guess what?"**

**Aragorn moved a headphone speaker off one of his ears. "What?"**

**"Sara's ill!"**

**"She's 'ill'? What do you mean she's 'ill'?"**

**"I mean," Faythe said, humming "Rock-A-Bye Baby," "she's ill."  
Aragorn shrugged. "Whatever." He thought about what "ill" might mean. A thought came to him. "Faythe," he whispered, "is she…pregnant?"**

**"Yep! Isn't it cool? Our kids will be mere months apart! And they'll be best friends, just like me and Sara are!" Faythe sighed and sat back in her seat. "Yeah…this is gonna be so cool."**

Sara came back and sat down. She looked at Faythe and Aragorn, who were staring at her, and blinked. She turned to Hiei. "Why are they looking at me like that?"

Hiei glared at them. "Stop staring at her." They continued to stare. Hiei shrugged. "Ignore them. They'll stop."

Sara tried hard to ignore them. Finally, she glared at them. "Stop staring at me! Don't you have anything better to do?" The other people began to stare at her. Sara screamed in frustration and slumped down in her seat. "Fine. Go ahead and stare. It isn't strange or anything. Freaks!"

**Faythe looked hurt at being called a freak, but continued to stare anyways.**

**Sara tried to ignore her, humming loudly and tapping her fingers on the armrest.**

**The guy next to her looked over and whispered, "You're on my side of the armrest. We're not going to have problems, are we?"**

"Me? Cause problems? Never."

The guys leaned back in his seat. "Good." Just to be rude, Sara poked him on the arm. When he turned to her, she smiled at him and laid her head on Hiei's shoulder. Hiei rubber her head and she sighed.

Kurama turned in his seat and smiled at them. "She's like a dog," Faythe said, laughing.

Sara was suddenly glaring at her, her eyes purple. "I am not a dog!" Hiei scratched her behind the ear. Instantly, she calmed down. **She lay back in her chair and tapped her foot absentmindedly.**

**Hiei smirked. "Such a cute puppy." Sara didn't protest-the ear scratching had put her in a semi-trance.**

**Faythe sighed and laid her head on Aragorn's shoulder. He smiled and put his arm around her. His CD player started playing "Moondance," the good Van Morrison version, and he began singing along loudly.**

**"_Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?_**

**_Can I just make some more romance with you, my love?_"**

**Faythe sat up. "Why are you singing that in the wrong key?"**

**Aragorn stopped singing and looked at her. "I was?"**

**"Mm-hm. That key change in there doesn't happen until measure 113. You were only at 47," Faythe informed him.**

**"You memorized the measure numbers?" Aragorn asked, a note of awe in his voice.**

**Faythe crossed her arms over her chest. "Why? Is that weird to you or something?"**

**"No! I'm just saying, not a lot of people do that," Aragorn explained.**

**"Oh, now you want me to conform to your views! Well, guess what, mister? I'm an individual! I have my own tastes, my own views, and my own way of doing things! And if you don't like it, tough shit!" Faythe shouted. She stood up and yelled for dramatic effect. "And I don't deserve your criticism!"**

**A few women on the plane cheered and clapped. One shouted in broken English, "You go, Liebchen!"**

A voice came over the loudspeaker. She said something in German and Faythe looked at Sara. "What did she say?"

"'Thank you for flying on Flight 361 Italy to Germany. Please buckle your seat belts. We will be landing shortly.' Pretty much what they always say."

"Ah." They all buckled up.

AIRPORT

"What do you mean you can't find your luggage?" **Sara shouted at Legolas.**

**"Your luggage, too," Jake reminded her. "The baggage guy said he never saw it."**

**"How do you know what he said? You don't speak German!" Sara yelled. "Did anybody else leave their luggage in Italy?"**

**Faythe and Aragorn raised their luggage off of the ground so everybody could see they still had it. "We carried on," Faythe said smugly, grinning.**

**Sara hit her. "Quit showing off! Everybody else is left with nothing but the clothes on their backs and you want to make us feel worse about our luggage!"**

**"Sorry," Faythe mumbled.**

**"You should be." Sara looked around for her German friend. "He should be here by now," she muttered to herself.**

"He?"

Sara whirled around. "Yes, Hiei. He. Is that a problem?"  
"No. I was expecting a girl"

Sara sat down and began talking to herself. "I shouldn't have to deal with this. Why me? Why is it always me?" She said something in German and then something in a language no one understood. Except Kurama, who clapped his hand over his mouth.

**"Who isn't here yet?" Faythe asked.**

**Sara sighed and looked at Faythe. "My friend isn't here yet. He's supposed to pick us up and show us around town," she explained. "But he's not here, and now we're stranded at the airport."**

**"With no luggage," Legolas reminded her.**

**Sara screamed in frustration. "Thank you for reminding me, Legolas! We also have no luggage! Isn't this fun?" She went into hysterics, crying and laughing at the same time. "We have no money, no clothes, nowhere to stay, and nowhere to go! What could be better than this?"**

**A man with very blonde hair walked up behind Sara and said, "Boo."**

**Sara jumped a mile into the air, turned around, and smiled. "Hans! I wondered when you'd get here!" She hugged him. "What kept you?"**

**Hans gestured behind him. "I had to grab your luggage," he said.**

**Jake stared at him, shell-shocked. "Is-is that why our luggage was gone when I went to look for it?"**

**Hans nodded.**

Sara sighed and hugged him again. "Oh my God! I love you!"

Hiei's eyes widened. "What!"

"Not like that."

Hans smiled and grabbed the luggage. "Let's get you guys to the car." He winked at Sara. "There's some chocolate with your name on it."

"Danke."

They began talking in German. Kurama and Hiei were talking in Japanese, and the others in English. Legolas looked at Faythe and said something in Elvish. Faythe screamed. "Don't do that! I don't want to study!" Everyone stared at her. "What? You don't stare at Sara when she has an outburst!" No one knew how to respond, so they went back to talking.

**Legolas said something in Elvish again. "Sè ban perrenon, gli torèth?"**

**Faythe screamed at him. "I don't want to learn! I don't care if that's part of who I am! I reject you and all the elves I'm unfortunately related to! So get off my back!" She stormed off into the terminal's main counter area.**

**Hans looked at Sara and asked her something in German. Sara responded in German and Hans laughed.**

**Aragorn looked at Legolas. "That was uncalled for," he said. "She's had enough problems with her heritage, she doesn't need your help in making them worse."**

Hans turned to the group and said something in German. Sara put her hand on his shoulder. "You'll have to excuse him. He's just leaning." She turned to Hans. "English."

He nodded and, in a heavy accent, "What iz thess elf?"

"Huh?" Sara slapped her forehead. "He doesn't know what an elf is."

**Legolas smiled. "Well…I'm an elf. And…I'm immortal. And…I do magic."**

**Hans still looked confused. "Magik? Saw-in-half-girl magik?"**

**"No, no, no, not that fake stuff. I can make things happen." Legolas looked around her zeroed in on a clock. "Okay, see the clock?" Hans nodded. "Watch what happens to it." The numbers on the dial became letters and the hands spun around wildly. People stopped and babbled about the amazing feat they were witnessing. No one connected the guy with pointy ears, blonde hair, and tunic as the one behind the phenomenon.**

**Legolas grinned. "See? Magic."**

Hans nodded. "Magic. You…all elf?"

They others shook their heads and Hans looked confused. Sara smiled. "I'll explain later. Now, we have to find Faythe."

They caught up to Faythe, who was staring at the signs. "I don't know where to go!" Hans smiled and led them to a bus. He opened the door and loaded in the luggage. "You drive a bus?"

Hans turned to Sara, who translated. "Yes. I drive bus."

"Cool!"

Once again, Sara translated. Hans smiled again. "Danke."

When everyone was on, Faythe turned to Sara. "He smiles too much."

"Oh, leave him alone."

**"He does! It's creepy!" Faythe looked at Hans through the mirror in the bus that pointed towards the passengers.**

**"So he's a happy guy, you'd be, too," Sara said in Hans' defense.**

**Faythe cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'you'd be, too'?"**

**Sara sighed. "In Germany, life is simpler and better. He gets to drive the Audobon, he tests beer for a living, and he's married to a beautiful German woman, who he has five children with."**

**"Five children! And he's happy? Well, his wife probably isn't! Rearing five children. It's un-American!"**

**Sara hit Faythe. "Of course it's un-American! He's German!" She sighed. "You don't get it."**

"And you do?"

"Duh! I'm German!"

The bus slowed to a stop. "Wir sinhier."

Everyone got off the bus while Hans grabbed their luggage. Just as they were walking to the door, the door flew open and something launched towards them. It hit Sara and sent her sprawling on the ground. "Sara!"

Sara wrapped her arms around the child. "Jeramy!" **She tickled him and the kid collapsed into fits of laughter.**

**Hans picked up the child high over his head and spun him around. "Where's your mother?"**

**"Inside." Jeramy ran inside and yelled for his mother. A pretty blonde woman carrying a pretty blonde baby stepped outside and smiled at her husband and the guests.**

"Hallo zicklein. Bilden sie sich zu hause."

Faythe stared at her. "Huh?"  
Sara rolled her eyes. "Danke." She turned to the rest of the group. "This is Anja."

"Hello, Anja."

Anja blinked. "Hallo."

Sara walked up to here and took the baby. "Wurd sie moyen etuas Hife?"

"Kein danke."

"Stop using German!" Everyone turned to Faythe. "I can't speak German! Stop it!"

**Legolas scoffed. "You can't speak Elvish, either. They can speak their native tongue, let them speak it!"**

**"If I don't understand them, they should converse with me in a language I do understand! Is that so wrong? Why wouldn't I want to understand something someone's saying to me!"**

Sara looked like she wanted to hit her and translate at the same time. Instead, she shook her head and followed Anja inside the house. Hans followed and Hiei followed Hans, muttering about not letting Hans and Sara in the same room alone.

**Aragorn put his hand on Faythe's shoulder. "Sweetie, I sympathize with you. Really, I understand. But you have to not spas so much. People don't like being yelled at so much, you know."**

Faythe sighed. "I know. I know."

A little girl came over and looked up at them. Aragorn was about to say something when Hans came out. "Mary Ellen!"

"Papa!" she cried, running to him.

Faythe smiled. "Isn't that cute."

Hans looked at them. "Abendessen. Dinner."

"Good! I'm hungry!"


	16. 16 Advanced Oldness

_Author's Note: Short chapter, I know, don't bite my head off about it._

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Advanced Oldness**

DINNER TABLE

Mary Ellen stared at Sara and Hiei, who were whispering to each other. "Oooooh…ist das ihr freund?"

Sara smiled. "Ja. He's my boyfriend."

Hiei smiled. "We're married."

"Oooh."

Hiei and Sara went back to talking. Faythe looked at them. "What are two talking about?"

"Nothing," they both said quickly.

"Right. You're going to have to tell me later, Sara."

**"Since when are you married?" Jake asked.**

**Sara hit him. "We've always been married. Haven't we, Hiei?"**

**Hiei nodded. "Yeah. We've always been married."**

**Jake looked at them scrutinizingly, but shrugged after he didn't see anything wrong with their expressions. "Whatever." He took a bite of Anja's cooking. "Anja, this is fabulous! What is it?"**

"Duesseldorfer."

Seeing as how Jake didn't understand, he let it slide. "You'll have to give me the recipe."

Sara translated and Anja smiled and nodded. "Ja." For dessert, they had Baumkuchen.

AFTER DINNER

Anja and the girls were doing dishes. Anja smiled at them. "Your boyfriend. Er ist adorable."

"Which one?"

"Both." Sara laughed and turned to Faythe.

"She says Hiei and Aragorn are cute. **Isn't that sweet of her?"**

**Faythe nodded. "But A's not my boyfriend anymore. Remember when we got married in France?"**

**"Of course I remember that!" Sara said. She sighed. "How could anyone forget that day?"**

**Anja smiled at Faythe. "You married tall man, ja? Good! He's…cute," she said in choppy English. She turned to Sara. "I do good, ja?"**

**Sara nodded. "Ja."** Faythe went back to drying dishes and Sara whispered to Anja, "He's old."

Anja gasped and turned to her. "How old?"

Sara thought for a moment. "He suffers from…Advanced Oldness!"

Anja laughed. "Funny Sara." **She turned to Faythe, who was glaring at Sara. "How old Aragog?"**

**Faythe laughed and stopped glaring. "He's Aragorn, and he's actually 93 year old."**

**Anja gasped. "93! Why not he dead?"**

**Faythe thought about the best way to respond. Finally, she said, "It's hard to explain."**

**So Sara explained for her. She translated Aragorn's lineage into German and explained it as simply as she could so Anja would understand. Anja was bright, though, and she picked up on what Sara was trying to say right away.**

**"Ja! Ja! So, the Aragorn ist Dunedàin? Live long life!" Anja exclaimed with a look of bliss that only comes from learning something on her face.**

**Faythe nodded. "Exactly." She felt a pain in her abdomen. The twins were kicking. "I'm going to go lay down, Sara," she said. "I'm not feeling well, and it's been a long day."**

**Sara smiled at her. "Of course. Go right ahead. We'll finish up here."**

**When Faythe was gone, Anja turned to Sara and asked, "So how old Faythe?"**

**Sara thought about it. "I don't know."**


	17. 17 Playing the Fool

_Disclaimer: I don't own Steely Dan, and I don't claim ownership to the lyrics reprinted here. 'Kay? 'Kay._

_Author's Note: This chapter's even shorter! Ha! But I needed a chapter for Faythe and Aragorn to just…you know, talk and stuff. We don't see that often enough. Oh yeah, some material in this chapter may be unsuitable for children._

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Playing the Fool**

**FAYTHE'S ROOM**

**Faythe was soaking in a hot tub in the adjoining bathroom in her and Aragorn's bedroom. She was listening to her CD player and reading Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King for the 4th time. She sang along with the song, a Steely Dan hit, "Bad Sneakers."**

"…_**Bad sneakers and a piña colada, my friend**_

**_Stomping on the avenue the radio playing_**

_**With a transistor and a large sum of money to spend…"**_

**Faythe even sang along with the instrumental break before the next verse.**

**Aragorn came in and got in next to her. Oblivious to the world around her, Faythe didn't notice he was there until he slid his arm over her shoulders. "Honey, you need to stop denying your past," he said gently.**

**Despite the headphones, Faythe heard most of what he said. She turned off the CD player. "I know that, Aragorn! I'm not a fool, I'm just doing a real good job at pretending to be one."**

**Aragorn chuckled. "That you are." They sat in silence for a while. Then, Aragorn asked something he'd wanted to ask. "Will our kids be more human, elf, demon, or hobbit?"**

**Faythe glared at him. "We agreed not to discuss that, remember? And with all your speeches about hiding from who you are, you seem to have forgotten that you did the exact same thing for 60 years!" She sighed. "I don't want to own up to yet, A. I'm not ready."**

**"And do you think I was when I had to reveal myself and take responsibility for my lineage?" Faythe was about to respond when Aragorn said quickly, "That was a rhetorical question."**

**"Oh." She turned her CD player back on and listened to "My Old School" for a while.**

**Aragorn turned it off again. "We weren't through talking yet!"**

**Faythe replied coldly, "Really? We seemed through to me."  
Aragorn started to say something when the door opened and Jake came in, bearing a toothbrush and mouthwash. He stared at them. They stared back. Jake shook his head, as though trying to dispel the image. "Well…I can see that you're busy," he said, embarrassed, "I'll come back."**

**Faythe got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. "No, Jake, go right ahead." She glared at Aragorn. "We're done here."**


	18. 18 The Cutest Uniforms in the World

_Disclaimer: The usuals, except I don't own Heineken. _

_Author's Note: I am very aware that there is very much German speaking in this chapter. Sara's doing, not mine. I don't know what they're saying, but I imagine it has something to do with sex and coffee._

**Chapter Eighteen**

**The Cutest Uniforms in the Whole World**

MEANWHILE

Anja put the coffee pot on the table and sat down next to Hans, who kissed her. "Ew! Grob! Bilden sie dieses einen, SEITE nennraun bilte!"

"She is wife. Kiss all I want," he said, smiling. "You kiss boy." He waved his hand towards Hiei. "No different."

Sara was about to respond, but Kurama interjected. "Would anyone like some coffee?" Hans and Anja looked confused. "Mochte jemand etuas kaffee?" He asked in perfect German.

Hiei stared at Kurama in amazement. "How do you know German?"

"Sara taught me."

Hiei turned to here and she shrugged. "I could teach you, too…"

"Do you remember the last time you tried to teach me something?"

"Swimming isn't that bad…" She turned to Anja. "Where's Serilda?"

"She comes home tomorrow. Boyfriend dumped her. Looking for someone new." Anja winked at Kurama, who flushed.

"Sorry. I'm not looking for anyone."

Anja smiled. "As you say in USA…only kidding."

Kurama was half-tempted to point out that he wasn't from America, but stopped. After all, that would be rude.

Sara looked at the clock and gasped. "Inari! Is it that late already?"

Anja looked up. **"Time to go!"**

**Faythe was puzzled. "Go where?"**

**Hans grabbed a hat and his briefcase. "Work."**

**Anja nodded. "Ja. And the zicklein have school."**

**Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Zicklein?"**

**Sara rubbed his head. "Children."**

**"What do you do, Hans?" Legolas asked politely.**

**Hans looked puzzled, so Sara translated. Hans smiled and said, "I test beer."**

**Jake laughed loudly. "Get out! What do you really do?"**

**Sara looked at Jake funny. "He tests beer. He's a taste tester for Heineken."**

**Jake stared at Hans in awe. "Cool!"**

Hans smiled again. "You come?"

Jake's eyes got round. "Really? I can come?"

"Ja."

"Alright!"

And so, after a kiss from the misses, Hans left for work, Jake in tow.

Jeramy and Mary Ellen bounded down the stairs and ran up to Anja. "Look at their outfits!" Legolas exclaimed.

Sara looked at him. "Dude. Uniforms are everywhere."

"Not like this."

Sara shook her head. "Whatever you say. Whatever you say."

**"Really! They're so cute! Little skirts and cute little hats…"**

**Faythe interrupted him. "Where do they go to school, Anja?"**

**"Is private school," Anja replied. She grabbed some keys from a hook near the refrigerator. "You come?"**

**"Don't they take the bus?" Aragorn asked.**

**Anja shook her head. "I drive." She looked at her watch. "We go now. Don't want zicklein to be late."  
**

**ANJA'S CAR**

"I can't believe Sara didn't come!" Legolas exclaimed.

"First off, stop shouting in my ear. Second of all, she isn't feeling well. Remember?"

Faythe shook her head. "Forget it, Aragorn. He doesn't remember."

"Besides," Hiei grumbled. "Kurama stayed with her."

Faythe patted his shoulder. "Poor thing." She turned to Aragorn and Legolas. "I think someone's jealous…"

**Hiei glared at her. "I have nothing to be jealous of," he snapped. "Kurama isn't going to steal Sara from me."**

**Faythe winked. "Especially when she's not feeling well, eh, Hiei?" She poked Hiei's ribs with her elbow.**

**Hiei glared again. "Stop it." She stopped.**

**Legolas was confused. "Why isn't Sara feeling well?"**

**Faythe sighed. "You're so naïve, Legolas."**

Hiei frowned. "Apparently so am I."

Faythe stared at him. He didn't know? Sara didn't tell him? "You don't know? Well, I'm sure she'll tell you soon." She turned and began talking to Legolas and Aragorn again, leaving Hiei to this thoughts. _What the hell? _**He tried to catch the conversation they were having.**

**"I wonder what she'll name it?"**

**"Hopefully not Hiei."**

**"Maybe she'll name it Kurama."**

**"Maybe there'll be twins."**

**Hiei couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Sara pregnant? Did that account for her morning sickness the other day? And on the plane, they say pregnant women usually get sick on planes. She'd been moodier than usual, too. What was going on? And even if she was, why hadn't she said anything?** He listened for a bit longer and something dawned on him. Sara had been spending a lot of time with Kurama. What if she WAS pregnant? And Kurama was the…he shook his head. That wasn't possible. He'd know! Wouldn't he? And, besides, Sara wouldn't cheat on him. Right? Suddenly, he wasn't so sure.

Instead of getting upset, though, he got angry. He was seething when Faythe turned to him. "Are you all right?"

"Yes! I'm fine!"

Faythe stared at him. "Whoa. Take a pill."

MEANWHILE

"I keep telling you. It's your turn!"

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Kurama moved his piece. "Checkmate."

Sara glared at the board. "Damn! Every time! I'm done! Let's do something else."

"Like what?"

Sara looked around. "Let's go exploring!"

BACK IN THE CAR

"You all right?"

Hiei glared at Anja._ I can't yell. She'll tell Sara. Sara will get mad… _"Yes."

Anja pulled into the driveway and the others got out. She held Hiei back. "You talk about it?" He shook his head. Anja sighed. "You need friend, I'm here."

"Thanks."

Faythe came running out of the house. "They're gone! Gone! They up and left! Nowhere to be found!"

Anja looked panicked. Legolas came out. "Shut up, Faythe. You'd think they would have left a note…"

Aragorn came out then. "Calm down, all of you. They went for a walk." He went back into the house, mumbling about panicking and how bad it was.

Everyone glared at Faythe, who shrugged. "It was an honest mistake."

"Yeah right."

**"It was!"**

**Legolas put his arm around her shoulders and steered her back into the house. "Let it go, Faythe. We know it was a mistake."**

**"Really? You believe me?"**

**"No."**


	19. 19 Bad Dreams and Ruined Movies

_Disclaimer: You know what it is._

_Author's Note: I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who's been reading this so far, and especially all those who review or are thinking about reviewing the fics. If you're tuning in for the first time, I want to say, GO BACK AND READ THE BEGINNING, NUT JOB! ahem I'm okay now. Thanks for everything, without the readers, this would be a far more difficult job than it already is. _

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Bad Dreams and Ruined Movies**

"**EXPLORING" WITH SARA AND KURAMA**

"I'm telling you, it's poisonous Sara."

"Eat it."

"I'm not going to eat it!"

Sara took the plant and fed it to a bird. After a few seconds, the bird blew up. "Maybe it was poisonous."

Kurama smiled. "Told you."

Sara snorted. "Stupid pretty boy." Kurama sniffed and she hugged him. "You know I love you."

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "You're married!"

Sara shrugged. "I know. I love you as friend."

"Yeah I know."

**Sara looked at him. "Are you sad that I love you?"**

**Kurama looked horrified. "No! I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night."**

**"Why not?"**

**Kurama sighed. "Bad dreams."**

**"Again?" Sara exclaimed. "Was it the same one?"**

**Kurama nodded.**

**Sara sighed and shook her head. She noticed a plant that had vibrantly purple leaves. "Hey! I bet that one's poisonous."**

"No. You should really know these plants."

"I know." She looked at the ground. "I'm sorry."

He smiled and rubbed her head. "That's alright." He looked at his watch. "Wow. It's late. We should be getting back."

"Alright." They headed back to the house.

**When they got back, Anja was vacuuming, Aragorn and Faythe were watching TV, and Legolas was on the Internet. Hiei was nowhere to be found.**

**Faythe jumped (sort of) to her feet. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "I was worried sick!"**

**Legolas looked away from the computer, where he was downloading pictures of himself. "You were not."**

**"I was worried! They could have been-"**

**"Hurt, killed, dismembered, etc. Yes, we know, Faythe. But you weren't worried."**

**"Was, too!" Faythe retorted. She started to say something else, but Aragorn drew Anduril and turned the blade on her.**

**"Shut up. I'm missing the movie."**

**Anja came in and clucked disapprovingly at Aragorn. "No sword in house, Aragorn!" she said sternly. Aragorn sheathed the weapon.**

**He looked at the TV, aware that he'd missed some crucial plot points. "Now what am I going to do? I don't follow the movie anymore!"**

**Sara sighed and handed him the remote. "It'll be on again." She looked around. "Where's Hiei?"**

Faythe shrugged. "He was mumbling to himself about God only knows what and went God only knows where."

Sara glared at her. "Thanks. You're such a big help."

Faythe smiled. "I try."

Kurama came in from the kitchen and handed Sara a soda before sitting down next to Aragorn. "I've seen this movie. It's really cool until the end."

Aragorn frowned. "What happens at the end?"

"The hero dies."

Aragorn looked up at the ceiling, shaking his fist. "Curse you! Why do you do this to me?"

Sara hit him upside the head. "Calm down. It's just a movie."

"Right. Right. I'm calm." Sara raised an eyebrow and walked up the stairs, muttering about kings and insanity. "Sara, where are you going?"

Sara turned around. "I need to be alone."

**Faythe looked at her sympathetically. "I wanted to be alone, too, when I found out." She hugged Sara. "Suicide is not the answer."**

**Sara glared at her. "What are you talking about? Why would I want to kill myself?"**

**Faythe nodded. "I know why you're like this. You're in denial. That's okay, Sara. I understand." She tapped her nose. "But you can only hide for so long, you know!"**

**Sara restrained herself from responding and from hitting Faythe. She walked up the stairs and fell on the bed; which felt unusually lumpy and…screaming.**

**"Get off me! Get off me now, Sara!" Hiei cried.**

**Sara rolled over. "Sorry. What were you doing in here?"**

**"Thinking," Hiei replied grimly.**

"About what?"

"Nothing."

Sara frowned, but let it go. What was going on? Everyone was acting strange. Except Kurama. She began trying to dissect the problem, one step at a time.

"Stop talking to yourself."

Sara jumped and glared at Hiei. "You have your way of thinking, I have mine."

"Well, your way is annoying."

"Get over it. Why do you always have to be so mean to me? What did I ever do to you?"

Tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to hold them back. "Sara? Don't cry. Your way of thinking is fine. Don't cry." **He hugged her, but she pulled away from his embrace.**

**"Don't hug me right now," she said, her voice wavering. She sat as far away from Hiei as possible.**

**He tried to ignore the sudden mood swing, but he knew that it was a sign that she really was…ill.**

**Sara sniffled. "Are you not talking to me nor or something?"**

**"You're the one who's not talking to me!"**

"I never stopped talking to you!"

Hiei froze. "What the hell is the matter with you?"  
Sara thought for a moment. "I don't know. One minute I'm fine. The next, I'm upset about everything."

Hiei stared at her. Didn't she know she was pregnant? She had to! But, why didn't she want him to know?

**He couldn't take it anymore. "Honey, do you remember when we were in Australia?"**

**Sara snorted. "Who could forget it?"**

**"Do you remember the pool deck?"**

**"Of course!"**

**"Do you think that maybe…" he drew in a deep breath. "That you're pregnant?"**

"What? Who the hell told you that? What gave you that idea? Why in the world would-it was Faythe, wasn't it?"

Hiei nodded. Sara sighed and flopped on her back. Hiei rubbed her head. "What do we do now?"

Sara smiled at him. "Let's go along with it."

"What?"

"You heard me. Let them think what they want."

MEANWHILE

"So, who do you think the father is?"

Faythe thought for a moment before answering Legolas. "It's either Hiei…or Kurama." Kurama instantly started coughing. Faythe ran over to him and hit him on the back. "Are you okay?" He nodded. "Good. Wouldn't want you to get hurt. Just in case…"


	20. 20 Family Dinner

_Disclaimer: It's the same._

_Author's Note: Thank you, readers! Thank you! _

**Chapter Twenty**

**Family Dinner**

LATER THAT NIGHT

"Sara…" Faythe whispered, "Sara…"

Sara rolled over and wrapped her arms around Hiei, burying her face in his neck. "Go…away…sleeping."

Faythe shook her. Hard. "Wake up!"

Sara's eyes opened instantly. She had been aware of Faythe, but let it pass. Now, her eyes flashed purple. "What?"

"What color…Sara!"

Sara, who had fallen asleep again, opened her eyes. "I'm…" she yawned, "sleeping."

"What color will the eyes be?"

"Green."

"On both of them?"

"Yes. Go away." She rolled over again and snuggled up with Hiei.

Faythe shook her again. "Are you-ow!" Kurama, who had been sleeping on the couch, sat up and removed Sara from Faythe's arm. As soon as he did, the puncture wounds began to bleed. They both looked at Sara. Her eyes were glowing and tiny fangs and fox ears had sprouted. Her tail was hanging over the side of the bed, swishing angrily.

Kurama slowly backed Faythe away from the bed. He wrapped her arm with bandages, still watching Sara. "It should be better in the morning."

Faythe was still staring at her arm. "I can't believe she bit me. My best friend…"

Kurama led her to the door. "Right now, she isn't your best friend."

THE NEXT MORNING

Sara slowly trudged into the kitchen and went up to Faythe. "I have a problem…"

Faythe glared at her. "Yeah, you do! What was with you last night!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You bit me!"

"I did what?" Faythe unwrapped her arm. "Oh. Sorry."

Faythe, being Faythe, smiled. "Alright. What's with the hat?" Sara looked around and took the hat off. "Whoa! You have ears!"

One of the ears twitched. "I have a tail, too. They won't go away!"

"Maybe you're pregnant."

Sara neither agreed nor disagreed. She just sat down on the counter, her tail lying on her leg. "I can't go out like this. What if Anja and Hans find out?"

As if on cue, Anja ran in. Sara put the hat back on and slid off the counter, hiding her tail. "What's the matter, Anja?"

"Serilda come home today! Need to cook!" She handed Faythe a list. "Please do." She turned to Sara. "Help as much you can. Don't overdo. You alright?"

Sara had begun shaking. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Anja smiled knowingly. "I was same way." Before Sara could respond, Anja went out the door. She stuck her head in through the window. "Don't overdo." She saluted her and she left.

**Sara turned to Faythe. "Why did she say not to overdo it?"**

**Faythe grinned sheepishly. "I thought, you know, maybe…she'd want to know."**

**"YOU TOLD HER I WAS PREGNANT?" Sara shouted. Her eyes glowed purple and her tail swished menacingly. She advanced slowly on Faythe, backing her against the stove.**

**Faythe cringed and put her hands up to her face. "Help!" she cried out.**

**Immediately, Sara's eyes became their normal color and stood still, blinking. "Sorry about that, Faythe," she said. "I can't get rid of my demon self right now, though, so you're going to have to watch what you say."**

**Faythe nodded and blew out a sigh of relief. "That was scary."**

**"I can be scarier. Don't make me." She smiled. "Now, what did Anja want us to do?"**

**3 HOURS LATER…**

**The house was sparkling clean inside and out. Faythe had sweet-talked Aragorn into mowing the lawn and bullied Legolas into dusting the knick-knacks in the house. Jake had volunteered to cook dinner, claiming that he had "experience in the kitchen." Hiei had cleaned the rooms and swept the floors. Kurama vacuumed the upstairs bedrooms and hallway and made the beds. Faythe "supervised" and Sara cleaned the kitchen and dining room.**

**When Anja came home with Hans and a young woman who had to be Serilda in tow, she gasped. "House is beautiful!" she exclaimed. "Is Sara cooking baumkuchen?" She sniffed. "Smells great!"**

**Serilda sighed. "Smells the same as it always does."**

**Faythe was shell-shocked. Her English was flawless, unaccented. She walked up to Serilda. "Hi! I'm-"**

**"Very fat," Serilda said skeptically. "You shouldn't let yourself get that bad, girl! You almost look like you're-"**

**"Pregnant? I am," Faythe replied icily. She decided not to like Serilda. "Thank you for noticing. I'm eight months along with twins."**

**Serilda blushed. "I'm sorry. I thought you were naturally-"**

**"A lard bucket? Well, I am a little chubby." She glared at Serilda. "And I hate being reminded of it!" She smiled. "I'm Faythe. Nice to meet you, Serilda." She left for the kitchen to tell Sara that Anja was home.**

**Anja turned to Serilda. "That not nice, Serilda. You learn rude ways since you left."**

**Serilda sighed. "I am sorry, mother."**

**"Don't be sorry to me. Be sorry to her," Anja said sternly.**

**"Mom, do I have to?" Serilda whined.**

**"Go."**

"Yes mother." Serilda went into the kitchen and tapped Faythe on the shoulder. "I apologize for being rude."

Faythe smiled. "I forgive easily."

Sara hit her with a spoon before turning to Serilda. "That was rude, Serilda. You had no right to talk to her like that."

"I know. I guess…I've been away too long."

Sara hugged her. "Not to worry. We'll have you back to normal in no time!"

**Serilda sniffed. "Why did he leave me?" She sobbed a little but stopped when she saw the guys tramp in from outside. "Sara, you must introduce me to your friends," she said pleasantly. "They seem…eccentric."**

**Sara snorted. "They are." She pointed to each of them as she said their names. "That's Jake, and Legolas, they're married, and Aragorn, he's Faythe's husband, and Kurama, he's one of my best friends, and Hiei, my husband."**

**Serilda smiled. "A pleasure to meet you. I'm Serilda, Anja and Hans' daughter."**

**Legolas bowed to Serilda and smiled at her. "M'lady," he said, "the pleasure is all mine." He kissed her hand.**

**Serilda giggled. "He's sweet."**

**Faythe snorted. "He's gay."**

"There isn't anything wrong with that."

"I didn't say there was."

"If either of you say another word, I'll hit you both!" Everyone turned to Sara.

Serilda looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm tired, and I'm…just don't mess with me right now."

**For the first time, Serilda noticed the hat on Sara' head. "Sara, why are you wearing a hat?"**

**Sara laughed nervously. "There's a good reason, Serilda." She leaned over to her and whispered, "I have bed head."**

Serilda smiled. "You don't get bed head."

"Everyone gets bed head." The others looked at her.

Jake frowned. "Why are you wearing that?"

"Never mind."

Anja came in. "Dinner."

**DINNER**

**The table was full. There was Anja, Hans, and their four children who were still at home. Their fifth child, the second oldest, Adolph, was away at college. Then, there were the seven guests. It was a good thing Anja had a habit of cooking too much food.**

"Mother, this is wonderful! As always."

Anja smiled. "There is daughter I know and love."

Serilda laughed and turned to Sara. She frowned instantly. "What's the matter? You haven't eaten anything at all."

Sara looked up at her. "Not hungry."

"Why not?"

"Haenshoth nerambu tao."

"What?"

Sara blushed, cleared her throat, and tried again. "I'm just not."

Kurama and Hiei exchanged looks. Hans looked at Sara. "No hats at table."

"But…"

"No hats at table."

**Sara sighed and removed the hat. Anja gasped. Hans was stunned. The kids were amazed. "Can you wiggle them, Sara?" Jeramy asked.**

**Sara nodded. "Yes, I can." She wiggled her ears.**

**Mary Ellen smiled. "Cool. That's a neat head band, Sara."**

**Hans looked up at Sara. "No head bands at table either."**

**"Oh, come on!" Sara exclaimed. "Can I please were them?"**

**"No."**

**Sara looked upset and unsure what to do. Finally, she mumbled, "It's not a head band. They're my real ears."**

**Anja laughed. "Don't talk like that. Zicklein might believe you."**

**Serilda stood up and looked seriously at her mother. "She's not joking. She's a demon. Those are her ears."**

**Hans gasped and put his hands over the baby's ears. "Serilda!" he said sternly. "Don't say at dinner table!"**

**Kurama stood up, too. "It's true."**

**Anja looked upset. "How many you demon?"**

**Faythe, Hiei and Kurama raised their hands.**

**Anja surveyed the abundance of sub-humans. She shook her head. "How many you not human?"**

**Legolas added his hand to the party.**

**"Why not say anything before?" Anja asked, looking pained.**

**"We were afraid you'd kick us out," Faythe said sadly. She seemed ashamed.**

**Hans smiled at them for the first time since the evening began. "Not kick out at all. Sara family. Sara's friends family. Family stay together."**

**Sara smiled and laughed with relief. She threw her arms around Hans, her tail swishing from happiness. "I knew you'd understand, Hans! Thank you!"**

**He grinned and hugged her. "Of course! Now-time for dessert."**

Sara turned to Hiei. "I know what I want…"

"Sara!"

Dessert consisted of chocolate cake and coffee, for the adults. The kids, of course, had milk. Sara took Faythe's coffee and poured it out. "You can't have any coffee. It's bad for the babies."

"You can't have coffee either."

Sara smiled and drained her cup. "Oh well."

Anja glared at her. "No. Bad for baby."

Sara sighed. "Fine." She stood up. "I'm going to bed. Good night." She yawned for emphasis and headed up the stairs. Hiei looked at the group and followed her.

**Jake watched them leave. "What's going on with Sara?"**

**Anja looked up at him. "Jake not know? Sara pregnant!"**

**Jake stared blankly. "Since when?"**

**Faythe took a drink of coffee. "Apparently since Australia."**

**"What happened in Australia?" Jake asked, confused.**

**Legolas sighed. "Sara and Hiei got it on by the pool deck, remember? We had to break them out of jail."**

**Jake smiled widely. "Oh, yeah! That was when we tortured the manager."**

**"I don't appreciate what you did to my clarinet," Kurama said softly.**

**Faythe grinned. "That was fun. But anyways…that's when it happened."**

**Kurama was still griping about his clarinet. "Three weeks in the shop. They couldn't find out what was wrong with it! Turns out, there was a piece of-'**

**"That's enough, Kurama."**

**He sat down on the couch. "To this day, it doesn't sound right. We had to buy a new one."**

Faythe sat down next to him. "I know exactly how you feel. I remember the time my G wouldn't play. I had to have the damn thing in the shop for two months! I had to finger along on a pencil that whole time." Faythe thought for a moment. "Of course, that was years ago." She sniffled. "It hardly even bothers me anymore!"

Kurama cocked an eyebrow and the others shook their heads. Just then, they heard the sound of something falling down the stairs.

"Hey!" Faythe exclaimed, "Something fell down the stairs!"

They all ran to the stairs. "Sara!"

Sara stood up and smiled. "I'm okay."

"How'd you fall?" Aragorn asked.

"I tripped."

"On what?"

Hiei came down. "My foot!"

"I meant to do it."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did!"

Faythe stepped between them. "I hate to break this argument up…"

Sara snorted. "I don't argue with idiots. They drag me down to their level and beat me with their stupidity."

"Do you want to say that to my face?"

"I just did."

**Anja came rushing in. "Oh, no! Sara fell down the stairs! Miscarriage!"**

**"What?" Sara asked.**

**"If woman fall down stairs pregnant, she loses baby," Anja explained.**

**"Loses the…but I'm not pregnant!"**

**Anja frowned and looked sad. "Exactly."**

"Who told you I was pregnant?"

"Faythe."

Sara glared at Faythe. "Who do you think the father is?"

"Well…you said he'd have green eyes."

Kurama stared at Sara, thinking back to the times they had been drunk. Had he ever…? There was that one time in the hotel room…

Sara had said nothing happened, but what if she was protecting him? Sara, in the meantime, was getting angrier. "You, you, and you. Come with me."

Faythe blinked. "Who?"

"Faythe, Kurama, and Hiei. Follow me."


	21. 21 Bologna, Love, and Babies

Disclaimer: I don't own the Oscar Mayer bologna jingle, nor the Little Rascals love song Sara sings. I do own the newest additions to the family, Liela Anamaria Telcontar and Vincent Alan Telcontar, hereafter known as Liela and Vinnie.

Author's Note: It took twenty-one chapters, but it's done! Tune in for the next adventure, Sara and Faythe in "Africa is for Loo-vers!"

**Chapter Twenty-one**

**Bologna, Love, and Babies**

**Sara climbed the stairs, the others following in her wake. She pulled the door to her room open and pointed to the couch. "Sit."** When they had sat down, she shut and locked the door. "Now then. We are going to figure out what is going on. Faythe, what gave you the idea that I was pregnant?"

"Hiei said you weren't feeling well…"

Sara's ear twitched. "Did it ever occur to you that I'm, oh, I don't know, SICK!"

"You're a demon. You can't get sick."

"There are plenty of things I can catch, Faythe. The Makai flu, fox fire, and, not to mention, any human disease. I do have human in me. Not a lot, but enough."

Kurama and Hiei stared at her. "You think you have fox fire?"

Sara shrugged. "I didn't say I had it. I said it was possible."

**"What is fox fire? Is it contagious?" Faythe asked.**

"That depends. You can't catch it, and Hiei can't catch it. Kurama already had it. Seeing as how you can only catch it once, you're all fine," **Sara explained. She shuddered. "Let's just say…it's not fun, okay?"**

**Faythe shrugged. "Whatever. So…you're not pregnant?"**

**Sara glared at her. "No."**

**Faythe sighed. "Too bad. Our kids would have grown up together."**

**"I'm not sure I want my kids to play with your kids," Hiei said angrily. HE was still pissed that she'd led him to believe that Sara was pregnant. And worse…that Kurama was the father.**

Faythe made the mistake of hitting Hiei upside the head. "I take insult from that."

Hiei grabbed her and threw her against the wall. "Owww…"

Sara whirled on Hiei. "Apologize."

"No."

Sara grabbed him by the throat. "I told you to apologize." She drew her hand back and rather sharp claws appeared. "Now."

**Hiei's eyes got wide. "I'm sorry."**

**Faythe stood up, smiled, and brushed off her shoulder. "That's okay. No harm done." She doubled over. "Oh my God!"**

**Sara's eyes flashed. "What did you do to her!"**

**"I didn't do anything to her!"**

**"Well, there's something wrong and you're the one who threw her against the wall!"**

Faythe broke in. "I think my water just broke!"

"This is all your fault Hiei!"

"No it isn't. It's Aragorn's fault."

Sara thought about that. "Oh yeah. Heh."

Kurama, who had been quiet that entire time, spoke up. "Maybe we should get Aragorn."

"What about me?"

"Aragorn, my water broke."

Aragorn panicked. "What do we do?" He pointed to Hiei. "This is all your fault!"

"You're the father. Stop blaming everything on me, dammit!"

Aragorn picked up the phone. "Quick! What's the number for 9-1-1?"

**Sara sighed. "Put the damn phone down now!"**

**Aragorn obliged. He started pacing back and forth. "Oh Valar, I'm not ready! I can't do this!"**

**Kurama laid a hand on him shoulder. "You can do this. You have to do this." He turned to look at Sara, who was attending to Faythe. "Should we go to the hospital now?"**

**Sara looked at him quizzically. "You want me to transport all of your there?"**

**"That would be nice."**

**Sara took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and all of them were in the emergency room (Jake and Legolas included).**

**EMERGENCY ROOM**

**"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked Sara.**

**Sara pointed to Faythe. "She's in labor," she explained in German.**

**The receptionist looked at Faythe and her eyes widened. "Ja." She called a doctor on her phone and said something to him in German.**

**"What did she say, Sara?" Faythe asked.**

**Sara smiled. "They'll be right out."**

**Faythe smiled back. "Good. Oh! Contraction!"**

**Aragorn nervously held her hand and rubbed her belly. "They're coming fast. This'll be over soon!"**

**5 HOURS LATER…**

**Sara was very bored. Only Aragorn had been allowed to go to the maternity ward with Faythe. The rest of them had been sitting in the waiting room, receiving news of Faythe's progress via one very stressed Aragorn who popped in ever hour or so. The last update basically said that it wasn't over…not by a long shot.**

**She suddenly realized there was something she could do to alleviate the boredom. "My bologna has a first name," she sang loudly.**

**Jake came in. "It's O-S-C-A-R!"**

**They sang together with everyone else in the waiting room: "My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R!"**

**Sara sang solo: "I love to eat it every day!"**

**Everyone: "And if you ask me why I'll say…"**

**Aragorn came in and sang, "'Cause Oscar Mayerhas a way with B-O-L-O-"**

**"Shut up!" Hiei shouted. "Do you have to sing the freaking bologna jingle everywhere we go?"**

**Aragorn grinned sheepishly. "Right. Sorry."**

**"G-N-A!" a little girl sang out happily.**

**Hiei glared at the little girl and turned back to Aragorn. "Any news?"**

**Aragorn shook his head. "No. I just love that song!" He went back to the ward.**

2 HOURS LATER

Sara stood up on a chair. Hiei looked up at her. "What are you doing?"

Sara smiled. "I want to dedicate this next song to someone I love very much."

Hiei flushed. There were a couple "awws" around the room.

_"L is for the way you look at me_

_O is for the only one I see_

_V is very, very extraordinary_

_E is even more than anyone that you adore_

_And love is all that I can give to you_

_Love is more than just a game for two_

_Two in love can make it_

_Take my love, but please don't break it_

_Love is made for me and you."_

At first, no one said anything. Then, cheers erupted everywhere. Sara hopped down and kissed Hiei on the cheek.

"Do another!"

She looked up. "Like what?"

"Anything!"

Sara shook her head. "Maybe later."

Just then, Aragorn ran in. "Twins! A boy and a girl!"

He picked up Hiei and spun him around. "Aragorn, put me down."

He dropped him. "Twins!" He ran back out of the room. A few people cheered again.

**Aragorn came back out. "Oh, yeah! Did you guys want to see Faythe and the twins?"**

**"Duh!" Legolas said, jumping up and running to the double doors that led to the maternity ward. Everyone else followed.**

**Faythe was drugged with morphine and was still feeling the effects from the epidural. She smiled dopily at them when they came in. "Hi, guys!" she said cheerfully. She held up the babies she was holding. "Aren't they beautiful?"**

**Sara nodded, smiling. "They're amazing."**

**Legolas looked closely at them. "The girl is the spitting image of you. The boy is…very Elvish. And blonde."**

Sara started laughing and left the room. The others stared after her. Aragorn started panicking. "Why is she laughing? Doesn't she like them?"

"Sweetie, calm down."

"She insulted my children! She'll pay!" He grabbed his sword.

Kurama grabbed him. "She didn't insult your children!"

"Then what was she laughing about?"

Everyone froze. No one knew what to say. "Umm…she's crazy. She always laughs."

LATER

"Faythe has to spend the night."

The others groaned. "It won't be the same without Faythe," Sara said. She stood to follow the guys out of the hospital. She tripped over a chair and fell forward. Everyone turned to stare at her.

Kurama helped her up. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, fine. Stupid table."

"It was a chair…"

"Oh…"

**Kurama looked at her scrutinizingly. "Are you sure you're all right?"**

**"Positive! Stop asking me!" Sara screamed. She saw how hurt Kurama looked and was instantly sorry. "I'm sorry, Kurama," she said, hugging him. "I don't know what came over me."**

**"I don't know either, but I'm going to find out," he said after he thought for a moment.**

**Hiei, afraid to let them spend too much time alone together, walked over and put his arm around Sara's…back. He couldn't reach her shoulders. "What's going on, guys?" he asked as pleasantly as possible.**

**Sara shrugged. "I don't know. Nothing, really."**

**"Are you guys ready to go yet? We're waiting for you," Legolas said, coming in from outside where Jake had the car running.**

**Kurama nodded. "We'd better get home soon, too, because I'm sure Hans, Anja and Serilda would love to hear the news."**

**They piled into the car and pulled off onto the Audubon.**

**ARAGORN/FAYTHE/THE TWINS**

**Aragorn smiled down on the newborns, who were dozing in cradles near their mother's bedside. It took quite a bit of cajoling to get the nurses to let the twins sleep with their mother, but Aragorn was very persuading when he had to be. He smiled at Faythe, who was asleep, as well. She was worn out, and rightly so, considering what she'd gone through. He smiled at the nurses who shied away from his sword as they came and went, taking care of Faythe and the babies. Aragorn was in a smiley kind of mood.**

**Faythe woke up after about an hour. "Hey," she said weakly.**

**Aragorn beamed proudly at her. "Hey."**

**"We still have to name them, you know," she said.**

**"We already have names picked out, though."**

**"Yes, dear, but they're not on the birth certificates."**

**Aragorn was silent for a minute, smiling at his kids. "Vincent Alan Telcontar," he said after a minute.**

**"And Liela Anamaria Telcontar," Faythe added. One of the babies yawned and kicked her feet a little. Faythe cradled her. "There, there, love. Don't cry."**

**Aragorn was still all smiles. "I'm so proud!" he exclaimed.**

MEANWHILE

Anja clapped her hands. "Wonderful!"

Hans came out with a bottle of champagne. "Calls for celebration." He looked at Sara. "One glass."

"Oh, come on! I never get to have any fun anymore!"

"One glass."

Sara sighed and flopped down on the couch. "This isn't fair!"

**"Why can't she have champagne?" Jake asked.**

**"Pregnant," Hans replied.**

**"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I'M NOT PREGNANT!" Sara shouted. "ANYONE WHO THINKS I AM OR SAYS I AM IS A LOSER WHO NEEDS TO BE DISMEMBERED!"**

**They stared at Sara in silence. She fumed for a while, then blushed and ran upstairs. Hiei and Kurama followed her.**

"What's the matter with you?"

"For the LAST TIME! I DON'T KNOW!" She growled and threw a vase against the wall. "I don't know. My emotions are all mixed up! One minute, I'm angry at everything. The next, I want to cry." She picked up another vase.

"Maybe you really are pregnant…"

The vase shattered in her hand. "Oww…"

**"Maybe you're going crazy," Hiei commented. Anything, even insanity, was better than Sara being pregnant.**

**"She's not crazy," Kurama replied. "She's got-"**

**CLEAN LIFT**

**"You're all right. You can go now," the doctor said to Faythe.**

**Faythe smiled at Aragorn, who smiled back. He smiled at the doctor. He was still in a smiley mood. "Will the children come, too?" he asked.**

**The doctor laughed. "Of course! They're beautiful babies. Very healthy. Ready to leave any time you are."**

**Faythe got out of the bed, grabbed her clothes and padded off to the bathroom to change. Aragorn proceeded to dress the babies.**

**"Are you sure you can do that?" the doctor asked.**

**"How hard could it possible be?" Aragorn said, by way of reply. (FAMOUS LAST WORDS!)**

**The doctor shrugged. "They're your children." He left.**

"What are you doing to my kids!"

"They're my kids, too!"

"No they aren't! You put them in chain mail!"

"So? They look good. Wait, they aren't my children?"

"Well…"

MEANWHILE (CLIFFHANGER)

**"-Fox Fire."**

**Legolas walked past them, singing in a dramatic voice, "Bum, bum, bum!"**

**Sara glared at this receding back. "Yeah, that's right! Keep walking!"**

**Hiei shot her a look that silenced her and turned to Kurama. "You mentioned that before. What is it?"**

"It's nothing for you to worry about, Hiei. It doesn't affect you."

Hiei growled at him. "Of course it affects me! She's my mate!"

Kurama sighed and nodded. "She, as you can tell, is stuck in her demon form. She'll be vicious and it will be easy to upset her. What ever she eats, if she does eat, won't stay down."

"That sounds awful."

"It is."

MEANWHILE

"So, they aren't my kids."

"No. I'm so sorry, sweetie!"

Aragorn hugged her. "Don't worry about it. I love them and I love you. We'll still be a happy family."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now, come on. Let's go home."

"HOME"

Faythe walked in the door and was greeted by Hiei, Kurama, and Anja. "They're beautiful. I hold them?" Faythe smile and handed them over to Anja. "What are they're names?"

"This is Liela. The little guy is Vincent."

Hiei looked at Aragorn. "I told you not to name him Vincent."

Aragorn laughed. "Sorry."

Kurama yawned. "I'm going to go to bed. See you in the morning." He went upstairs.

Faythe looked around. "Where's Sara? She wanted to see them."

Sara walked in, yawning. She had a bathrobe on. "Right here. I heard voices. Come to see," she yawned again, "what was happening." She smiled at Faythe. "I came. I saw. I'm going back to bed." She turned to Hiei. "Join me?"

"Of course. Good night everyone."

THE NEXT MORNING

"You're leaving? So soon?" Anja exclaimed.

Sara nodded as she put on her hat and a trench coat. "We're off to Africa."

"You come visit us."

"Of course."

Serilda came up behind Anja. "You don't and we'll disown you."

Sara snorted. "Yeah. Right."

Aragorn stuck his head in the room. "Come on ladies. We're leaving."

"We're coming," Faythe said, smiling.

Aragorn rolled his eyes. "Well, hurry up."

Sara glared at him. "Shove it."

Sara and Faythe climbed into the van. Anja and the others were waving. "E-mail me!" Serilda shouted.

"Will do!" Sara shouted back.

She leaned on Hiei's shoulder. "We've went through a lot."

"Some good. Some bad."

Jake rolled his eyes. "We aren't dying. We can come visit them some time."

Sara nodded absently. "Yeah." She took her hat off and wiggled her ears. "Africa…here we come. Hope you're ready."

Hiei snorted. "Don't count on it."

THE **END**


End file.
